KISS LIST || TOM KAULITZ

𝑃𝐴𝑅𝑇 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅𝑇𝐸𝐸𝑁

MAIVY POV- TWO WEEKS LATER

Tom and I were close, and it was time to tackle step two, gaslight and guilt trip him.

I sit in my bed, just scrolling on my phone as I lay in Tom's arms. We weren't dating it was like weird...

Like we would do all the stuff couples do, just no intimacy at all. But he wasn't talking to any other girls anymore. "Look how good they look." I sigh.

I was showing him a video of the girls on the cheer team at the game. "Imagine how i'd look as a flyer." I pout a little. "Aren't you with the dance team now?" Tom asks. "I mean, yeah but i'd rather do cheer."

"I'm sorry Maivy." Tom rubs the knuckles of my hand I had interlocked with his, he was feeling guilty.

"No, it's fine I probably wouldn't make it in with them anyways if I were to even finish the list." Gaslighting him, you see where i'm going with this.

"I'm sorry, baby." Tom pats down my hair gently, apologizing to me. Yet again.

See, he even calls me BABY but yet we still aren't dating? HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?!

I'm still pissed at him, I don't feel like truly forgiving him anytime soon. He has done absolutely nothing to makeup for all the stuff he's said to me.

"It's fine, dance and cheer aren't that different." I shrug, please let me get to him, please.

"I feel so bad, I just can't." He shakes his head, hugging me tighter. "It's okay Tom, don't stress over it. Maybe i'll play in college." I smile, giving him a kiss...

On the cheek.

"This is so fucking stupid, it's just a kiss what's so big about that." He throws his hands up, annoyed.

"I'm telling you, it's fine. Just let it go." I nod, slowly.

"Ivy." Tom says turning my face to him. "Yes Tom?" I smirk, looking at his face. God he was so beautiful it actually hurt to do this.

"You're the first person i've trusted since Lucia, so I wanted to say thank you. I've never told anyone about that. Other then Bill, not even Gustav or Georg."

Can he not, right now. Like actually.

I lean up on the bed, sitting up "I'm sorry I didn't mean-" He sits up as well, I cut him off. "I have to go Tom." I get up out of his bed, walking for the door.

Guilt, he was gonna feel even more guilty.

"Maivy, wait what's wrong." He stands up, holding my face. My gaze shakes between his, as he looks at me worriedly. I lick my lips, glancing down at his.

He did the same.

Both his hands cup my cheeks, I don't say anything just admiring his features. His hands were so soft, yet so callused from playing the guitar.

I lean in, he leans in too before...

I got swerved.

He takes a step back, rubbing his hands up and down his jeans. I don't say anything, just walking out of his room. Why is he making this so difficult.

Why is he making me slowly fall for him.

"Maivy." Tom opens his door, I run down the stairs. Not saying anything, aiming for the front door.

Guilt, guilt and more guilt.

He runs outside, pulling me back into his arms. "Please don't go." Some tears start to fall down his eyes, as his voice breaks a little.

"Tom, I can't keep playing the push and pull game with you. It's hurting me as much as it's hurting you." This was true, it was hurting me as well.

Step two was already complete, it was time for step three- begging him.

"I know, but I can't help it." He sighs. "Please Tom, I just wanna be in the team." I curved my lips a bit. "Just give me some time Ivy." Tom pats against his leg anxiously. "I don't know how much more I can give."

"I don't know what you expect me to do, I do feel bad for you. God I really do, but I can't." I step closer, wiping away some of his fallen tears.

"I just wanna get into the team, that's all I want Tom. To be apart of something." I hug him, crying into his arms. "Just don't leave, please." He whispers.

"I won't but please Tom, I can't keep getting my feelings played with like this. I know you're still in love with Lucia, or whatever but, still." I say, sniffling.

"Im not in love with Lucia." He shakes his head.

"Well, either way. I can't keep doing this, either be with me or don't Tom." I felt my nose stinging, as more tears start to well up. I was being real with him.

"Just don't leave me, please." He places his hand on my shoulder, rubbing my arms up and down.

It was clear he had some abandonment issues. 

"I won't, I promise." I put my pinky out, Tom puts his out as well as we interlock them together. He embraces me into a tight hug, I jump on his waist. Hugging back.

I did like Tom, but he hurt me in more ways then one. How was I supposed to just give into him so quickly. Trust needs to be built back up.

Tom rubs my back, carrying me back inside.

Step two and three- completed.