Only Ever You

Chapter 20 - Abhimanyu And Akshara

They held each other for who knows how long. One hour? Two hours? Just in silence. Akshara curled in Abhimanyu's lap, with his head placed on her chest, her arms around his head as she cooed softly into his ear and ran her fingers up and down his back, calming him down.

The confession had shaken Akshara to her core, she could not shake it out of her as she felt all her senses overwhelmed. 

Speechless. 

She was left completely speechless.

She flashed back over the empty eight years she faced without Abhimanyu. And then she remembered her behaviour against him after his return. It had not been fair. Her guilt was indescribable. She felt disgusted by herself... how could she ever doubt him? The man she had always trusted with her eyes closed. How could she doubt what had happened? And here he had blindly trusted her... oh she could not live with herself.

"Abhi...." she whispered, pressing a kiss on his head, had he fallen asleep?

Abhimanyu stirred from her lap, lifting his head up as he faced her. His tired puppy eyes stared back at her and Akshara could see how vulnerable he had been all these years. Although he had maintained a strong facade of the Abhimanyu Birla, she could read how empty he looked deep inside.

He stared softly at her as she cupped his cheek.

"A-Abhi..." she whispered, "h-how... how will you ever f-forgive me?" she said, her voice breaking on the last word as the tears overcame her again.

Abhimanyu's eyes widened as he panicked.

"What do you mean? Are you okay? Is something wrong? Do you not want me.. it is okay I-" he panicked sitting up.

Akshara's heart broke as she realised how frightened he really was.

"Abhi" she cried again cupping his cheek and caressing it, "How could you even think that I could not want you... you are my whole entire heart... you said you could not tell me the truth so I could move on and experience all the different colours of life... Abhimanyu Birla here is my truth... you are the boy I have been in love with since I could remember... I do not remember a time I existed and did not love you... you are all the colours of my life... without you there is none" she whispered, reassuring him gently as she stared into his endearing eyes.

"I found you everywhere when you were gone" she admitted biting her lip, "I saw you everywhere... coffee shops... lecture theatres... I swear I was hallucinating but I wanted to keep them going... to keep you as a part of my life.... to keep you near... I can't explain it Abhi... without you, I will die" she told him clearly.

"Akshara..." Abhimanyu whispered overcome with emotion.

"But" she interrupted him, her hands shaking, "h-how ... h-how will you love me? how can you forgive me? After all of this... the way I treated you... the way I ignored you... the way I tried to suppress us. When I should've been your strength, you protected me and faced the darkness alone.... and when it came to explaining... to giving you an opportunity to talk... I shunned you away?" she stared at him horrified as her guilt multiplied with seconds passing.

"A- and Harsh uncle" she trembled, she could not even talk about that, her voice completely gave out as she felt completely overwhelmed.

Abhimanyu shook his head rapidly, calming her down, "nahi... nahi baba" he whispered, his heart breaking as he saw the tears in her eyes rapidly dropping, he could not bear the thought of her blaming herself for any of this.

"Akshara..." Abhimanyu spoke, his voice laced with pain. She was blaming herself but he had seen what she had endured over the last eight years. It was nothing short of pure hell. "I put you through so much... all by yourself... I was gone for everything... with no explanation nothing, you got up one day and I am completely gone... nothing for you to refer to... I can see some of the repercussions of what I put you through.. it kills me, the anxiety.. the panic attacks... you have every right to be upset... to be mad... y-"

"It does not matter Abhi.. if you went to London, I should have gotten on a plane and come found you..." she said angry at herself, "How can you love me?"

The tears in Abhimanyu's eyes threatened to fall as he saw her blame herself when he knew it was not her fault.

They were both victims of fate... but it was the same fate that would bind them.

"How can you even ask me that question Akshara?" he questioned somewhat angrily, "Baby I have loved you before I even knew what love meant... don't you get it? It was only ever you. You say you will die without me, well the past 8 years, I lived only for you.... you can be mad at me. Angry at me.." Abhimanyu began, caressing her soft cheeks as Akshara weeped in his arms shaking her head at him.

"But please... don't doubt how much I love you Akshara.... because it is only my love for you that kept me alive all these years" he whispered, the tears dropping out of his eyes.

And Akshara shook her head harder this time, shaking as the tears overwhelmed her. "Abhi" she whispered.. "Abhi.... Abhi" she whispered a weeping mess as she got up on her knees, pulling her face into her chest as he cried to her.

"I love you Akshara" he whispered as she pressed kissed all over his head.

"I-I" Akshara hiccuped, separating herself from him and cupping his face with her nimble fingers, "I love you" she confessed. "I don't want to be away from you any longer.... at any time. I want you with me.. everywhere... you are it for me. You always have been. My love. My home. My universe. Everything. Everything binds back to you. All to you"

"Sachi?" Abhimanyu asked not believing her confession.

Akshara nodded, her eyes laced with tears.

"I am forgiven?" he asked again with child-like innocence seeping out of his eyes, perhaps making up for all the years he had lost.

"Oh Abhi..." Akshara sobbed harder and she knew there was no response in the world better than what she did next.

Sliding her arms around his neck, Akshara leaned up and pressed their lips tightly together. Home. All of it. All of it at once. Crying into the kiss, Akshara pulled him into herself, leaning in so that every bit of them was touching.

Letting out a moan as he kissed her back with hunger and desire, Abhimanyu nipped gently at her lower lip seeking entrance into her mouth. And Akshara readily obliged as he slid his hands over her hips, steadying her in his lap.

The truth was.. times had changed.

They were not young teenagers anymore.

Precisely, eight years had passed.

Yet still, they were each others.

Abhimanyu and Akshara.

<3 All the pre-written chapters have now been uploaded so please bear with me as I write the next few! Initially, I had planned to end the story in another chapter or so but I think there are a few more things still left to explore.

I wrote this story to heal. To heal from the show and what they did. To remember our beautiful Abhira for what they are. Their essence. Love. 

I will also be going away this weekend so please bear with slow updates!

Lots of love,

N x