Hidden Burdens (working title)

Why Am I Like This?

Ben pulled into the driveway, making sure Kayla had plenty of room to get out.

Speaking of, Kayla met him inside the garage as he was turning off the truck. "Hey, how'd it go this morning?" she called over to him once Ben opened his door.

Ben unfastened his seat belt, letting it go on its own, and stepped out. He gripped the keys in his hand as Ben made his way over to where she was standing. "It went well." It wasn't a complete lie. But he didn't want to tell her he let his emotions override him once again.

"Yeah? That's good." Once he was in range, Kayla took a step towards him to give a quick peck on the lips.

Ben leaned closer to accept the kiss. "What about here? Any problems?"

Kayla folded her arms loosely. "No, not really. Kimmy woke up on her own, actually."

His eyebrows rose. "Before Claudia's alarm?" In all the two months the kid's been there, she had to be woken up by someone.

"I assume so," she said with a slight shrug. "I went in there not long after it went off and she seemed to be fully awake."

Ben looked on, impressed. Mentioning Claudia's alarm prompted him to ask how she was doing.

"She seems to be doing okay, but you can't really tell with that girl."

He nodded to agree when Ben noticed Kayla giving him a look. "What?"

"Nothing," she said, shaking her head. "She just reminds me of someone else who you can never really tell if they're doing okay."

Ben stared at her with a perplexed look on his face. It wasn't long before he realized who Kayla was referring to and found himself unable to meet her gaze. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"I swear I'm fine, Kay," he said, with a serious sigh.

The corners of her mouth dropped into a concerned frown. That's when she pointed out he had left his book on the island this morning.

Ben wiped his hand along his face. "You found that, huh?" Not that he was trying to hide the book from Kayla. Sooner or later it would have been made known. Though he would have preferred later than sooner.

"I saw it last night, actually," she admitted. "But then I noticed it was still there when I came downstairs this morning."

A car driving by distracted him for a second.

"Ben," he heard her say, but he didn't look back, even long after the car was gone. "Is that what's been bothering you lately?"

He wanted to look at her and tried, but the concerned look she still held made him look away again. She knew Ben struggled with his sensitivity and tried to encourage it. But he was the man, darn it! “It's... Yeah, a little, I guess.”

Kayla watched him for a moment until she finally asked, "You want to talk about it?"

Ben felt that wave of emotions start to rise and instantly pushed them back down. He flinched when he felt Kayla rub his arm.

"It's okay, hun," she reassured him, but Ben shook his head.

"It's not, Kay. It's just... not." Ben paced away from her, placing his hands on his sides as he stared at the garage floor. He tried to search his mind for something to say when Ben let slip, "why am I like this?" He thought he had said it in his head, but then he heard Kayla respond.

"Like, what?" she asked. "Sensitive?"

Ben twisted around on the spot as his heart skipped a beat. But then he felt himself slip out the rest of the thoughts that always seem to crowd his mind on a regular basis. "I look around and I don't ever see other guys react the way I do. The way women react. Why?"