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The bright light hurt her head as a sweet scent filled her nose. "You're waking." Mariannes light voice rang in her ears. A light tab with a wet cloth to her forehead animated her to open her eyes. With a grunt she swat her arm way, giving her a dirty look.
"Sweet Esther, have you not been eating?" Marianne tried again to wet hr forehead. Esther huffed and raised to sit up in the bed she was laying. "You should really rest a bit more" The woman spoke. "Leave me alone" Esther spoke, her voice hardly audible.
Esther got up to change her clothings. The pyjamas had to go, so she grabbed a white dress shirt and some brown dress pants. Her watch and jewerly was put on fast as she walked over to the mirror desperate to wipe off the remaining blood on her face. Marianne was fast to offer her the wet cloth. "I told Thomas to not bring you into business, let alone the dirty work." her face crunched up in a frown.
Esther took a breath and wiped the blood off. "I would keep my mouth shut if i were you, Marianne." her voice was calm, collected, threatening. "Tom isn't the one who's keeping me in the business, it's myself." she stopped to turn around, for their eyes to meet.
"I'm as much a Blinder as Tommy or Arthur. No matter if i'm a woman or not, i do what i feel like, so keep your nose out of my business." She turned around again and reached for the black makeup and drew black smudgy lines around her eyes. "The dirty work yesterday, was my own doing. If you still doubt me, ask around." Esther brought her fingers through her hair before she turned around and made her way to the door, hand on the handle, ready to leave. "It's not entierly Tommy who they're terriefied of." She gave her one last nasty look and left with fast steps.
⌞ •°•❀•°• ⌟
Just Esther had finished her cigarette outside the Arrowhouse a car pulled in. Her younger brother jumped out the vehicle, face furious. "Good, you're here." he lit a cigarette as he stopped infront of her. "Good mornin' to you too, Tom." she sighed, stomping on the done cigarette. "Find John, ask'm 'bout Vincente Changretta. Angel publicly threatened to kill'm." Esther blinked before giving her brother a sigh and making her way toward the car he just left in his driveway.
"Beat his ass for me." he chuckled before walking off. Esther just started the car and made her way to where she was sure she would find her little brother for sure. She had no idea what the hell he had done, why Angel was out for his throat. She hated this, she had no control.
Her brothers were doing whatever they wanted, not speaking to her at all. She was once the anchor for them. The feeling of emptyness spread itself in her chest. Was she not needed anymore?
John had Esme to talk to, Arthur had Linda, Ada had her little son she never stopped talking to and Thomas had Marianne and Charlie. Her siblings always needed her, for everything but now they don't.
What happens to a person who lost their purpose? Do they vanish, die, maybe?
Esther felt like she was here but far away.
Esther felt lost.
⌞ •°•❀•°• ⌟
The car stopped as she arrived at the Betting Shop. She took a sip of the flask her brother had left in the glovebox. Her hands brushed through her hair before a sigh left her lips.
The Betting Shop was busy, as always. "Greetings, Miss Shelby" a boy she didn't know greeted her as she walked passed him. She didn't bother to knock on Johns Door, she was greeted with two raised guns. "What the fuck." She cursed as she slammed the door closed. "Put the guns away, John Boy." Finn and Isiah relaxed a bit as well. "Knock, Es." John spoke. Esther took a sip of the whiskey by Johns table. "Shut your mouth, Johnny." she took the cigarette Isiah offered her and took a long drag before speaking again. "Angel Changretta, really?" she asked, another sip down her throat.
John shook his head. "Lizzie-"Don't tell me this shit started because of Lizzie fuckin' Stark." She massaged the bridge of her nose as John huffed and continued to explain his point. "Lizzie was seein' Angel and I don't trust him. I beat'm and now Vincente threatened to kill me." She stared at the ceiling in order to fight the tears. She didn't know why she was sad. Maybe the thought of John just deciding things, things that might get him killed without telling her. Everyone was in on it again, exept her. "You cryin'?" Finn spoke.
Esther took a drag of her cigarette "I guess." she whispered before downing the glass. "I'll speak to Polly, we'll figure this out." Another tear made it's way down her face. "Es." John spoke, his arm reaching over the table to hers. "I'm sorry." Esther only nodded and put the cigarette out in his ashtray. "I know. I just wish you spoke to me." she lifted herself out of the chair and with her hand on the handle of the door she turned around. "None of you speak to me anymore, i miss those times." The well broke as she left the betting shop and she sobbed out the heavy feelings in her chest as she started the car to meet Polly.
⌞ •°•❀•°• ⌟
Polly greeted her with open arms and a cup of tea. "Why're you crying, Love?" Esther took a sip of her tea as she sighed. "I don't know, everything's weighing down on me right now." she spoke. Polly nodded taking a drag of he cigarette as she looked at her niece.
"John fucked up." she spoke, Polly's eyebrows furrowed as she waited for her to eleborate. "Lizzie's seeing Angel, John beat'm and Angel want's John Boy's head now. Tom sent me to resolve things."
Polly nodded as a deep sigh resounded in the room. "I'll talk to Lizzie" Esther only nodded.
"Out with it, what's up with you?" Esther stared at the floor as she thought about what to say.
"I feel like no one needs me anymore, Pol. It's eating me alive." Pol sighed and her warm palm stroked her nieces back. "Love." She shook her head as the tears started anew.
"They're all out there, living their own life.
I'm here, with nothing
I feel like I've given everything i had and now they're-they're better and not in need of me anymore."
Poll shook her head. "Sweet, Esther. You're so wrong. Those kids need you just like they did twenty years ago. Just because they have partners and kids doesn't mean that they don't need their sister. You were there when they were sick, when their first heartbreak happened and through everything your mother should've been here for you. You're not their mother, yet you are so much more. They love you, i know. Talk to them, talking sloves most things." Esther gave Polly a big hug and finished her tea before leaving.
Her heart a bit lighter as she thought of her brothers and her sister. How right Polly was, how much she loved every single one of them.
