Be A Pest

Chapter 19

The next morning, while I was sitting at my desk and reading, he snuck into my room and somehow managed to find the paper under my pillow. I realised it only when he read it out loud, then turned my head around and saw him a few metres away from me.

"What's that supposed to mean?", he asked, puzzled. I took a deep breath, "You shouldn't have found that". "What am I best at?", he kept interrogating me. That was yet another extremely difficult question. Why was he the best? He was cute, funny, his smile was adorable...simply different. "At being yourself", I said in the end, "And the other thing is clear. I'm trying to make it right. Trying to help you".

Wakko didn't respond. Instead, he got a small piece of paper from behind his back and wrote a single name on it. Hello Nurse. As soon as I saw the name, I scrunched the paper and trew it into the trash, "I know, I know-". "You know?", he was surprised. "Wakko, I've already told you that", I answered, "I know you. I mean, a lot of people know you but... it's not the same. This name that you have written, it's not what it looks like".

"What do you mean?". "Everyone is different", I said, "And I'm one of the better people. At least I'm trying to be". It seemed like he didn't listen, because right when I said that, he left. I felt completely helpless, after everything I had done to make things right. I guessed he expected more than I could do to help him. Or he didn't expect anything at all? He'd told me he was afraid to ask me for help.

What exactly did he want to tell me with that? The more I tried to understand him, the harder it got. If I wasn't good enough, then who was? His family? I didn't like to underestimate myself, but this whole thing made me feel that way. Then again, I didn't want him to go home yet. He wanted me to succeed in a short period of time, which I never belived I could manage.

I started thinking of giving up, because trying any harder would lead me nowhere, and I'd damage both myself and him. Still, trying was the only option, otherwise he'd never actually overcome his distorted view. It came to the point where I wished someone had taken pitty of me for failing this many times. Therefore, considering all these things, I had to take the risk and face him. One last time.

Later that day, I exited my room and stood in front of the couch where he sat most of the time. I stood there for a minute and tried to picture myself in his situation. At least for that one minute. What was it like to have a panic attack? What was it like to see all those disasters and even be a part of them a few times for the sake of being with your family? What was it like to hide all your pain while doing it all simply to survive?

And then...another astounding idea striked me.

"You had a panic attack yesterday. Real or not real?". He stared at me with an expression that said... "Go away", yeah, it said exactly that. "Wakko, I won't repeat myself anymore-". "I don't need your help", he scrubbed me off. "You do! Your family's not enough". "What?!". "You can't suffer forever", I said,  "You must let it go-". "I can't...", he silently whined. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, as though he was looking for something up there.

I stared at him, defeat creeping into me, waiting for him to lock eyes with me. "Why are you so stubborn?", I asked once he did. "Because I don't want you to help me", he answered almost immediately. "I'm not going to hurt you!", I shouted desprately, "Even if I already have...please give me another chance". "Sorry", he shoock his head. "Well then...", I sighed in defeat, "You're suggesting here that I'm too late. Good luck".

His eyes widened in shock at my words. "I knew you could give up this fast!", he exclaimed. "What other choice do I have?!", I yelled back, "You don't want to give me another chance, my efforts were pointless anyway, what?!". "And I know what you want to do, how you want to help me!", he didn't stop. "So? I may be a dork, but it was my choice and tell you what, I'm proud of it". "What is your problem?!".

I stayed quiet, not beliving what he had asked me. My problen?! I had no problems here, he was the one who- then it dawned on me. I went over to the couch, took his hands and got him up. "You", I spoke firmly, unhurriedly backing him up against a wall and pinning his hands to it. I started speaking with such emotion that was coming from within me, not knowing myself how I could've confess everything at once.

"You're my problem, you're my pain, you're my everything. Do you know how much I've thought about you or how many nights I've stayed awake thinking of you? Do you know how much I've cried over you or from worrying about you? Do you ever sit there and think about how much I care about you and love you...do you feel it? Do you even know how much I love you? I do it because it's you, it's always been you!", by this time my face was inches away from his, as I whispered the last sentence, "It always will be you".

My lips gently brushed over his and stayed there for quite some time. An instant relief washed over me and I didn't feel any regret or anything like that. I wasn't in any state of mind, I was aware of it all and that was the only thing I considered important. Breaking away though, I saw tears streaming down his face, but I knew it was all a part of the process. So I wiped them off. "It's okay to cry", I held his face in my hands, "It's okay".

The ferry rode on the waves under the clear blue sky as we stood beside the fence, watching the beautiful view. I fixed my eyes on the ocean, reflecting what had happened during this month or so. I was amazed by what a change I had made with my feelings. In the end, it felt good to put this much effort into it. Because some things have to be learned the hard way. "Y/n?". I turned my gaze towards him and saw him staring back at me with this serene expression on his face.

"Can you lift me up so I can see better?", he asked. I didn't hesitate a single second and did what he wanted. For a while, we both stared into the distance, not saying a word. I could easily get lost in that appealing picture, where the sea and the sky collided together. Yet at the same time, I could get lost in his adorable black eyes. Which one do I choose? I decided on the first one...until I actually felt his stare.  

It drew me away from the scenery and as soon as I turned my head to face him, he suddenly returned all those few kisses that indeed didn't ruin our friendship, but put it on a higher level. I was astonished at first, but then I hugged him as tightly as possible, never wanting to let go. In the end, he hugged back and burried his face into my shoulder. "Thank you", he mumbled, "For everything". "Anytime, Wakko", I replied, "Anytime".

The end
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