Over The New World

Chapter 11

Nami

I felt guilt, I felt rage. How could I do this? This poor baby didn't deserve it. It didn't deserve me as its mother. I felt cold. Empty. I wanted Luffy by my side when I went in Chopper's office. I couldn't look at him in the eye now. He was filled with anger. His look was intimidating. Did he know?

When I had gone in the infirmary, Chopper told me that everything was alright. That I didn't need to worry. He said that my heartbeat was a mess probably because of the stress and that it could risk my pregnancy and here I was continuing to stress, making it worse.

I had gone to Chopper to talk to him about my plan to abort. He explained to me the complications of the procedure and checked on my viatals. The procedure couldn't be done now. My heartbeat was unstable and it was dangerous for my life. Chopper suggested to come back tomorrow if I still wanted to go on with it. He emphasized that him and the rest of the crew would be by my side, whatever my decision was.

At that moment I realized that they really would support us. If they had learned that the reason I wasn't pregnant anymore was because of them they would be disappointed, sad and left feeling guilty.

I touched my belly as I relaxed on my bed. I wanted this baby. I wanted him. I hadn't really thought about the way he felt. Luffy was struggling as much as I did and I was ignoring that. He was not as immature as I thought. Luffy had grown and I had grown to love him. I needed him by my side. I needed him now.

I bursted open the door to my room. I searched the ship from the men's quarters to the bathroom. I searched everywhere.

Sanji-kun walked passed me. His cigarette lighten in between his lips.

"Nami-san." He said calmly not bombarding me with his usual flirty comments. "I think what you're looking for is in there". He pointed at the kitchen.

I entered the vast room and faced Luffy lounging on the sofa. His eyes shadowed by his strawhat. A tray with sanji's delicious leftovers placed untouched on the table.

I walked next to him and kneeled besides him sitting on my heels. "Luffy-"

"Please... Don't talk to me." His voice was almost lost. He had no emotion. I could tell he had been crying for hours.

"I wanted t-"

"Please, nami! Get out!" He raised his voice and it cracked. He was in pain. But I was stubborn. I got up and sat on the bar stool, my back facing him.

I felt awful, tears were steaming down my cheeks. How could I hurt him. He was always there for me and now I was betraying him. I was about to throw away the most precious product of our love and do it without him present. I was already attached to this child, a creation blooming from our love. I cried.

The room was cold and silent, except from our shaky breaths and sobs. We were both crying silently in the distant comfort of each other. I felt the cold of the night penetrating my skin. I shivered.

The floor behind me creaked and Luffy wrapped his hands around me sighing, to worm me up. I touched his hand and brought it to my face as I turned my sit around. I got up grabbing his hand, pulling him to sit next to me on the couch.

"How do you feel?" he asked whipping my cheeks with his tumbs.

"I've seen better days, but now a little bit better"

"I'm so sorry, Nami... I was selfish. I wanted you to have this baby without thinking about your concerns. I thought I was ready to have a family but I wasn't unless you were. I can't start a family with anyone else but you. Letting go of the baby was your decision, although, I wanted to be by your side when you were having the procedure." I looked puzzled.

"What procedure?"

"You know... The abortion..." He whispered.

"I didn't do it" he looked shocked. His mouth agape and his eyes bigger than usual. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwords in an unsuccessful way to form a smile. His eyes then shut close. A single tear rolled down his chick as he was grabbing my arms. His head lowered as a single sob escaped his lips. I hugged him burying my face in his chest. His hand covered his eyes as more sobs could be heard. I was tearing up, smiling.

He was feeling relieved. His muscles relaxed. I laid on top of him as he laid back on the couch.

"I'm so sorry Luffy... I was not considerate of your feelings. I feel so bad. I had gone in there to do the procedure but my heartbeat was unstable. That's why I got away with it. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't be pregnant right now, and I'd be regretting it for the rest of my life. I'm so sorry I hurt you..."

Luffy didn't care about my apologies. He never once held a grudge against me. He was just happy to be next to me. Next to us. He was hugging me like his life depended on it. Smiling. Like his old self. He placed his wet lips onto mine. I tasted salt and relief. He was kissing me lovingly, stroking my hair and pulling me close. I was hugging him afraid he might let go, my fist wrinkling his red shirt.

The door bursted open and Usopp and Franky entered the room catching us on the act.

"S-s-s-sorry!!! " Usopp exclaimed before running away panicking. Franky raised his thumbs up before shouting "Way to go, Brother!" And then walking away.

I blushed embarrassed at the commotion. Luffy laughed loudly before kissing my cheek. He pulled me down, now laying on my back ontop of him. He placed his hand on my stomach and drifted off to sleep... Dreaming about the future.