Chapter 19: Devastation

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On the Hypixel Network, thousands of players played thousands of games a day. In most of them, the objective was to kill your enemies. I did this as well, because I knew it was just a game. I knew that they would respawn somewhere, either in-game or in a lobby. This was the case with every game and every place I had ever been to. Every place, that is, except for the maze.

I was shocked. At the reality of it. That I had unknowingly taken ChiLynn's life away from her. She would never respawn. She would remain dead for the rest of eternity. She was gone. And . . . well, it was all because of me. I shot the arrow. I didn't know it would end her life . . . but did that justify it? The consequences were unintended . . . but I still did it. I still caused it. I still murdered her.

At first, oZygro's words hardly hit me. As if it were a practical joke. But then, slowly, all the pieces began to settle in, revealing the clear picture of slaughter. Accidental, yet so cruel. And it clicked in my mind that Hypixel was going to make me pay for it. If he was angry before, he would surely want to execute me himself. And it would be justified. Because I knew that I would deserve whatever he inflicted upon me. I was going to be treated as a killer, because that's what I was.

When the truth had dawned on me, I ran. I had to. I knew I deserved it, but I didn't want it. So I shut the bolted door behind me, took out the blue orb I had, and pulled my thoughts away from ChiLynn to focus on the orb. Not a place in particular, just the orb. It didn't take me to the maze like I thought it would. It took me to the opposite.

I turned around. To close the portal, to be alone. But Melon came through with me. I just wanted to be alone, and he thought it was a good idea to come with me? Everyone else probably wanted to come, too. But they wanted to comfort me, not crowd me. Only I didn't want comfort. And of all the people to do the job, Melon?

I shut the portal anyway. I would've pushed him back in and closed it, but I didn't care at that point. I just wanted to get away. To think. "Please, Melon," I said lifelessly. I turned my back on him and started walking. He came after me. Started talking about stuff, but I didn't listen to him.

We were outside, on a stone path surrounded by blooming trees and fields of farmland, lit by the bright spring sun above. I was elevated, halfway up a steep, high hill. All around, as far as I could see: trees, paths, and water. It was a pleasant place. But unfamiliar. And then, far in the distance, I could distinguish glass, a telltale sign of the Blitz Survival Games. But it didn't matter where I was. I wanted to be alone. And if a game was going on, I wouldn't mind being killed. Would just get me farther away from Melon.

I walked down the path, closer to the water below me, trying to block out Melon. He was saying something about it being okay, that it wasn't my fault, that Hypixel wouldn't do too much to us. We both knew he was wrong, but what use was it? Might as well lie. Maybe it'd be easier on us all.

But I continued on. For a while he trailed behind me, talking on and on. He finally grabbed my arm, forcing me to face him. "We need to go back," he said firmly. For a moment I blankly stared into his aqua eyes. How little did he actually care? And how little his words meant to me! I ripped my arm from his grip and kept walking. This time, he didn't follow.

Freaking finally, I thought. Time to myself. To think. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. Go back and face Hypixel? And even if I faced him . . . and even if he was merciful to me . . . I had killed someone. It didn't matter what the repercussions were because I was already reaping what I had sowed.

I collapsed under a tree. It hurt. So bad. The guilt, the melancholy, the anger. At myself, at the situation, at everything. If it had only gone differently. If only I never killed ChiLynn. Then, maybe I could continue living my life. But no, I would have to live with a murderer — myself — for the rest of my life.

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