only forever - 11

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Ryan felt as if he was going to suffocate,

and he didn't know how to handle it, on one hand, it sounded like a good idea to go on a date with Sebastian and have him be a good distraction, but he knew that Sebastian was more than just a distraction.But he also knew that Sebastian was too good for him to be a distraction. He knew that eventually, due to the fact that he and Seb were soulmates, it was inevitable that he'd fall for Sebastian.

But he didn't want to, he wanted to be Regie's soulmate. The day he knew he had feelings for Regie was the day he knew he should've stopped being sexually active. But when you're having sex with Hades's child, who was known for being promiscuous before he met Persephone, and good at sexual activities, it wasn't easy.

So now, as he sat in Sebastian's car, he contemplated was this really worth it. It didn't feel like it, but he knew it was.

He had his father to blame for the way he wasn't able to handle relationships with no feelings involved. His dad was distant, cold, and sometimes angry, and it'd get taken out on Ryan.

"Hey, you okay?" Ryan heard Sebastian's voice cut through the silence, mentally thanking him from pulling him out of what felt to be a dark abyss of emotions.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just...Nervous."

I'm nervous too," Sebastian chuckled, "But I think It's gonna go great. I spent weeks preparing this."

Guilt stabbed through Ryan, he hoped that by the time the date was over his feelings for Sebastian would grow. Because if it didn't then ultimately he was fucked. In the worst way possible.

They had arrived at the scenic date that Sebastian had planned, and to say that he was awestruck was an understatement, he didn't have any words to describe how happy he felt. It was perfect. There was a pinic blanket, lanterns, and they weren't too bright, so you could still see the stars. And it was perfect to him.

He looked at Sebastian with an expression that read, you really didn't have to do this...

Sebastian gave Ryan a genuine smile, not a smile out of guilt like Ryan was doing to him, but a genuine smile of love, love that terrified Ryan to no end. He didn't know if he was capable of the word love, he knew that what he had with Regie was something more than like, but love? That seemed like too high of a reach to even attempt jumping at.

"May I?" Sebastian asked politely, holding out his hand to take Ryan's hand in his. Ryan nodded his head, and he went and placed his hand in Sebastian's, making an electrical surge course through their bodies. Their eyes glowing up their colors.

Ryan felt terrified, this wasn't what he came for... But it was? He knew he didn't have feelings for Sebastian, or rather be did, but they're not as intense as his feelings were for Regie. This was frustrating him, and he hated it with a passion.

"H'or Dourves?" Sebastian asked, holding one of them, not wanting to make Ryan feel forced to eat it.

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Sebastian was fully fledged panicking inside, he planned this for weeks, heaven had Regie leave Oliver, and you'd think that would be easy, but it was not. 

Ryan was enjoying the date so far... He thinks, it's not like he had anything to complain about, or that he was complaining. He'd say something if he didn't like the way the date was going, I mean, it's Ryan.

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Ryan couldn't tell if he was enjoying the date, or the fact that Sebastian had planned the date and was now fully fledge panicking. He knew he liked the date, and it made him feel so... happy?  Someone cared for him, someone wasn't belittling every little thing, and treating him as if he was a random fuck, no, he was treated like he was... special.

He loved this, he wanted more of it, so he engaged with it some more.

Eventually he leaned himself in closer to Sebastian, and he stops midway.

"Can I kiss you, Seb?"

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"Can I kiss you, Seb?"

Words Sebastian thought he would never hear. Especially from Ryan.

Sebastian nodded his head and pressed his lips upon Ryan's, immediately moving backwards to let Ryan straddle him, with Ryan straddling him, Ryan placed himself upon Sebastian's clothed shaft, immediately growing erect.

Ryan immediately tried to fumble for Sebastian's pants and unbutton them.

"I'm, oh Fuck- No we gotta wait, Ry..."

Ryan felt his heart swell, but acted as if he was shocked and paused, "Why?"

"I didn't do all of this just to fuck you, Ryan. I have genuine feelings, and I'm not gonna let lust cloud my judgement. I really like you, and I hope you feel the same."

Ryan's heart yet again swelled up with feelings he didn't know how to describe. It was...Mushy, but in a good way, and he felt like he was ready to marry this man.

But even then, he wasn't sure if marrying Seb was what he wanted. He still had feelings for Regie, but Regie was moving on, and so if Regie was doing so, then that means that he'd have to as well, right?

"I really like you, Seb."

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