𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 || 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧

𝟓

"I'm still at a loss." I said. It had been a couple of hours since the video call had started.

Seeing Hyunjin on the other end was almost unreal. His face, just like in the pictures, was heavenly. His hair was put back with a headband. He looked perfect, except for his eyes. His eyes we're bloodshot and puffy (and even then he was still good looking).

He had placed his phone up in what looked like his bedroom. I had taken a few moments to observe it already. It was dark. The only light source was a string of LED lights put on his wall.

When the call had began, I was weirdly unsurprised. The voice in the back of my mind told me this made sense, and the more time we sat and talked, it did.

He explained that he was just trying to protect himself and his group mates and was very very VERY sorry. Everything about the way he looked at me said he regretted not saying anything earlier.

We had continued to talk and another thing had dawned on me, about twenty minutes into our conversation. He had never seen or heard me either.

"I know you are. And I'm still getting used to this too. I mean I've never seen you either." He responded. My face began to get hot. Now I was becoming embarrassed.

"Yea, I didn't think about that when I picked up the phone, but then again I didn't expect it to be my bias from my favorite kpop group." I scrunched my face. "How did you even decide to tell me?"

His head dropped and he made a noise between a laugh and sigh, "The last few weeks it's been on my mind. I mean it was always kind of there in the back of my brain, but it's been moving its way to the front."

He stopped for a moment and looked around his room, deep in thought. "I think I was beginning to feel guilty, and more than normal. I mean I know you so well and I was starting to feel bad about you not knowing everything. Subconsciously, I think, I wanted this to happen. Consciously, I knew I couldn't. I think maybe it was self sabotage in the best way."

He stopped again and smiled, looking right into his camera and held back a laugh, "I had run over how I would tell you so many times in my head. I have been for years. I never imagined Felix would be the one to tell you."

I smiled back at him and we fell into a comfortable quietness. I let myself think about the situation I was in.

He knew everything about me. He knew about my love for music, how I wrote it and would sing occasionally. He knew I had a passion for dance. He knew how much I loved Stray Kids and everything they do. He knew my favorite foods and drinks. He knew my favorite color. He knew about the bad things. He knew about my mental health struggles. He knew about my parents. He knew.

A sudden feeling of anxiety hit me. I had thirsted over him, to him. If there was any reason to embarrassed, that would be it. My face began to get hotter than before. Hyunjin noticed.

"What's wrong?" He laughed, he knew.

"Oh nothing, just the fact that you literally know every single thing about me, including the fact that I've thirsted over you, to you, many times." I said hiding my face.

Hyunjin began to laugh even harder, "I was just thinking about that. Every time you did it, I would have the biggest ego boost. I would be on a high horse all day. The guys would always ask about it when it happened."

"So they knew about me?" I asked. He shook his head, still laughing, "No, just Felix, which is probably why he was more comfortable telling you then I was. I'm sure he was sick of me complaining about this whole not saying anything to you."

"So what does everyone think about our friendship then and what does that mean...for us?" I asked. The question had been nagging at me and this seemed like the best time to ask.