A Living Shield (John Price x OC/Reader slowburn)

16) In The Dark

[Songs 🎵: in the dark - Bring Me The Horizon & epiphany - Taylor Swift]

Darkness.

Soul suffocating darkness. As if every part of your body was being invaded and your entire being was pushed out and replaced by inky black tar, seeping into every nook and cranny.

Your ears plugged. Your mouth gagged. Your eyes covered.

Nothing permeated your senses. Only your skin could tell you you were still alive. Faint traces of air movement, the numbing feeling of the chair. The only things grounding you, making you aware you were still in the same room and even that had failed by now. You were completely tied and stuck, lost in the dark.

It felt like being subjected to claustrophobia, over and over again. Your body too small to withstand the pressure of nothingness. No escape.

Passage of time was lost on you, the only thing you were aware of was how hard breathing was. You could barely get air with the state of your nose and through your mouth was impossible, the gag prevented it.

The feeling of physical darkness surrounding you, stole what little oxygen you had access to.

It was absolutely panic inducing.

They had hit and punched you in so many ways, and it had done little to waver your sanity. Pain was never a good motivator for you. But this? This felt like eternal hell. Stuck in something that didn't stop.

Like it was slowly smothering you.

Wrapping around you, like dark invisible tendrils. Infiltrating your senses, roiling in your veins.

Even death would feel more liberating than this suffocating hell.

You were drawing sharp, ragged breaths against the fabric stuffed inside your mouth, the feeling heavy as the moisture of your breath and spit had soaked it a long time ago. Your heartbeat hammering away, the sound of it amplified in the silence, thundering in your ears. Cold sweat slowly covering your body as you fought your mind and body, unable to do anything.

Another panic attack. You'd stopped counting them by now. It became too much after the 7th one. Your mind unable to focus or keep track of the simplest of things.

It was worse than any physical damage they could have ever done to you.

And every time the feeling waned and your body relaxed under the fatigue, something brushed against you. Just a wisp of air. Making you aware once again that there was so much around you, that you couldn't see or hear.

Like they'd made you deaf and blind. A fear you'd never thought possible to see realised. But here you sat, as it enveloped you.

You'd cried.

The blindfold had soaked them all up, but tears had left your eyes. You weren't even sure why anymore. Panic. Loneliness. Fear. Or purely overwhelmed by the way everything echoed inside your ever-expanding black hole of a mind. It all mixed together at this point.

Because it was as bad inside as on the outside. If not worse. Your mind was warping, stretching, shrinking. Voices and faces flashing by, yelling, accusing, shapeshifting. Laughing. Familiar faces. Faces you'd pray and scream for help to. Faces that were disinterested in your well being.

Faces you'd held on to as your only lifeline to sanity. But now were the one reason your mind didn't release it's stress. No peace of mind. Only the echo of words that hurt the deepest parts of you.

"Family? Don't make me laugh. No wonder everyone died or left you alone."

Laswell's spiteful tone spun around you, unwilling to let go. As if you could physically feel her aversion for being acquainted with you.