love hate relationship

stupid childish crush

the fact this was supposed to be a slow burn but i got bored

3rd person pov

nat ran a warm bath as they both sat together taking in what just happened. y/n got in first as nat sat behind her tracing small shapes on her back. "im sorry for how i acted towards you when we were young, i really think we could have been good friends, or even more" the red head whispered resting her head against y/ns shoulder. 

"i think we would have been as well, i reckon we couldve ran that place. just us two. against it all" the other girl whispered back tracing shapes on natashas thigh, over random scars and a couple bruises softly. 

"im glad your here now" the redhead said placing a soft kiss to her shoulder. 

"are you just" y/n said trying to brighten the mood. 

"oh shut up" nat said pushing y/n away from her. the assassin just laughed spinning around to face the woman. 

after their bath everything seemed to fit into place. their upstairs neighbours were playing some old jazzy music from a saxophone and piano as the two danced around eachother in their own worlds. y/n was making dinner as nat topped up their wine glasses, every so often checking the old building beside them. 

they laughed at old memories bringing up pathetic grudges they had with each other over the years. it felt refreshing. instead of being at each others throats they understood each other. well y/n understood as much of natasha as the red head would let her. there was still secrets the russian would prefer stayed secret. 

 for the next week it felt more like an isolated holiday than a stakeout mission. every night they would sleep in the same bed at first it was just beside eachother but each night they grew more and more attracted to eachother and last night y/n ended up holding natasha in her arms from the moment they got into bed. not just a once off during the night. 

"so thats it?" y/n questioned as they both started to pack up all the gadgets and equipment. 

"yep, now we tell fury to send in a team and we're free to go" nat said grabbing a beer out of the fridge and offering one to y/n. 

"why cant we just go in, we've taken out more than them before. remember romania"

"yes y/n i remember how you almost got blown up because a knife in that situation was about as useful as tits on a bull" 

"i survived didnt i" the pair just looked at eachother and laughed. 

the next morning and the team arrived to take down whatever organization was happening next door. "agent romanoff, agent y/l/n" fury greeted "i take it the mission went well then" he starts. "well seeing as you both still have all your limbs intact" the two agents were dismissed and headed to the quinjet to go home. 

"you gonna let me drive this time" y/n asked when they walked in. 

"not a chance y/l/n. ive been flying since i was 11" nat said getting in the pilots chair and taking off. y/n sat in the smaller copilots seat eating a bag of pretzels. 

they landed a few hours later and walked out laughing with tired faces as the timezones caught up to them.

as soon as the pair walked into the compound they were greeted by the team wanting too know how it went. natasha instantly gave y/n the cold shoulder and greeted clint and steve telling the boys about it all. this confused and kind of hurt y/n. 

wanda walked over to y/n pulling the assassin in for a hug. "sooo?" the sokovian questioned with a smirk. 

"the mission went fi-" "i dont care about the mission. i mean you and nat, what happened" she pressed. y/n started to walk to her room letting the other girl follow. 

"she didnt talk to me unless needed and took the only bed" y/n said getting changed out of her mission clothes that smelled like dust and all sorts of stuffy things. wanda chucked the clothes in her laundry basket as the witch made herself comfortable on the bed. 

"i can tell theres more. you haven't been shot and all your limbs are fine so she doesnt hate you anymore" 

"why do people keep saying its surprising no bones are broken, does nat really do that often or something?" y/n questioned laying down on the carpeted floors. 

"only clints arm like once but a couple shots to other people" and thats only as long as ive known her" wanda explained making y/n nod. "so since that didnt happen, what did you do to be on her good side" 

"id hardly say im on her good side, you saw how she was ignoring me since we walked in" y/n said thinking about it all. before the with could respond there was a knock at the door. it opened and a certain redhead popped her head in before seeing the wanda in y/ns bed. the womans face dropped and her eyes bounced between y/n and the sokovian. 

"yeah natalia" y/n said softly while keeping eye contact 

"Мне нужно поговорить с тобой позже" (i need to talk to you later) the redhead said making y/n nod. 

"Не могу дождаться" (cant wait)

"see that, that right there, something happened between you guys" wanda said throwing a pillow down in y/ns face. 

"we might have had sex one night. but im sure it was a one time thing she probably doesnt think anything of it" 

y/n pov

im not even sure if she likes me. sure now i know she used too but who knows if she still does. and do i like her. or do i like her like that? "im going to have a shower" i said standing up and going to the bathroom. thank god for tony and his fancy ass bathrooms so i can have water pounding at me from any angle. really helps to clear my head. 

i dont know how long i was in there just thinking but eventually i hopped out drying quickly before walking out with a towel wrapped around as to not drip on the floor. instead of wanda sitting in my bed nat was there. 

"what did you want to talk about" i asked the redhead as i got changed into some warmer clothes to sleep in nothing she hasnt seen before i guess. 

"us, this. whatever we are" she said fiddling with the ends of her jumper. "i dont want to give the team another reason to look down at me let alone nick. i know they say their not homophobic, but yknow cap hes a bit old fasioned and tonys just tony, im sorry" 

"what are you saying?" i asked taking a seat across from her. "was i just a one night stand. in the moment sort of thing" 

"no" she answered simply. "i dont want you to feel that way, you are special to me im just not ready for anyone to know anything yet." 

"so more of a secret then? okay romanov ill play your game" i smiled at her softly. but my mind cant stop thinking about her. she seems so confident to everyone else i wasnt used to the vulnerability. 

"im sorry y/n" she said again not looking up from her hoodie sleeves. i scooted closer to her and lifted her chin. 

"hey, whats wrong" i said upon seeing her teary eyes. her head dropped to again but she quikcly stood up and left. 

nats pov. earlier

i walked to clint exited to catch up with him properly after the mission but steve was there as well meaning i couldnt talk about everything i wanted. "you and y/n seemed close huh, if i didnt know any better id figure you were lesbians, staying in one room just you two had to have been dreadful if you couldnt bring a man home ever once and a while. people have needs" the blond says. is he trying to make a joke?

clint stared at me and i just laughed it off telling them about it all. after the catch up i left the team to go have a shower and nap but first i wanted to talk to y/n knocking on the door i slowly open it to see wanda in y/ns bed and y/n on the floor. 

"Мне нужно поговорить с тобой позже" (i need to talk to you later) i spoke in russian making y/n nod with a small smile.

"Не могу дождаться" (cant wait) she responded and i left the room going to my own. 

gosh i was so stupid to think liking y/n is okay. its against anything i learned growing up and let alone todays critical society. i need to get over this stupid childish crush.