FAITH: Lily & GOD

Chapter 7

Days after the incident with her parents, Lily was solely instructed by her mum not to visit the park to avoid drawing further punishments for herself. Every time she passes by the park, she sees Sarah there with Joshua, they wave at her and she returns the favor before she leaves.

She secretly gives Sarah some cash and messages rolled up in paper to give Joshua to keep up with their regular studying.

Lily almost got depressed by her mum's actions but when she and Joshua exchanged questions and answers through writing Sarah being the main point of their message flow, her mood was even better.

There were so many questions she wanted to ask, about her parents being against her improving and learning more about GOD, and some critics she faced in church too.

She decides to write him a long letter about her experience.

Dear Joshua,

I hope you're doing well. Things have been going pretty smoothly here and in school. My dad rarely comes home and it has put some kind of sour in my mum's mood. I do feel good but just worried. like for instance when I was in school one day, a guy whose name is Mark asked some questions, things about my faith and why I believed in GOD. With how he drilled me, I was so close to questioning my faith in GOD. You should know that he's a self-proclaimed skeptic. I answered in the calmest way I could and I mean it.

Mark asked why I believed in religious stuff, why I think there's a GOD, and why I bother to read a book written many years ago, he also went to the extent of explaining why believing in a religion is not worth our time, why GOD doesn't exist, and all those bad talk. I was so riled up about what he said and had to answer his question as calmly as I could. He kept talking nonsense and I broke when he said 'Believing in GOD is outdated, like it's some application we wait for updates on.

I burst just a tiny bit and said he didn't know all this because he had no sense and no brain, if he believed in GOD, then he would be smart enough to talk about the greatness of GOD and not bad mouth GOD and believer. I told him that he had an outdated brain that didn't let him see any form of light coming his way and many other unpleasant words. I know you'll say I should learn to control my mind and GOD can fight for himself, I don't need to do that but this man insulted my religion and what I stand for, I think I deserve some right to put him in his place at least.

Mark is an annoying fellow who thinks highly of himself and I'm not saying this because of what he said to me but that's how he is and I sort of feel good for putting him in his place for once and a bit guilty that I might not be representing GOD well. 

I remember you telling me to share my faith with love and humility, not with the intent to change their minds but I could indirectly plant seeds of curiosity. I just lost it and... GOD, I feel so bad.

I am writing this feeling sad and angry, I feel like I created a bad image of the religion I represent, I didn't mean to do that. Most people think I have changed. My mum, sister, dad, and some people in our community, all think I have changed, and all those. Most people think I am becoming too religious or fanatical for my own good.

I don't know what to do Joshua, I just need some kind of reassurance. i wish we could talk face to face but things don't always go the way you want them to. Just tell me something, even if it's something I don't want to know.

I hope studying with Sarah is going well and she's behaving. Hope you got my gifts too and i pray that GOD works wonders so that I can come to see you physically and we can even go to church together.

Yours dearly 

Lily

Lily awaited Sarah to come collect her letter to Joshua and as she waited, she did her assignment. She made sure to pray to GOD first before attempting anything for wisdom and better understanding.

Halfway through her homework, a knock came on her door and she asked the person to come in but was surprised to see her mum holding a letter that looked similar to the one Joshua sent to her.

Scared that she had angered her mum again, she went on her knees to plead.

"Mum, please I am so sorry. I know you made it clear that I shouldn't see Joshua again but I still kept sending him letters because I couldn't just cut ties with him. I don't know him all that well but I trust GOD in him and I trust that GOD led me to him so that he can guide me in this journey." she begged with tears.

"Really? You think that?" Lily nods.

"I do appreciate what you and Dad did for me, right from when I was a little girl till now. I do appreciate but we all know GOD sends each person their guardian angel, a prophet for each person and I have this strong conviction that he is that for me. I don't want that to be taken from me, Mum."

Daisy took deep breaths and then let them out slowly, she sat on Lily's bed then told her to stand up. "Baby" she moved so she could sit on the bed with her. "I have no problem with you trying to find your path in life but I'm your mum and I don't want to learn things about my daughter from someone else or just discover it by myself. I want my daughter to trust me enough to tell me what I need to know about her" Daisy confessed.

"You're not mad that I hang out with Joshua?"

"No baby, I just don't want to learn things about you from someone else. Tell me what I need to know about you, please. I know I wouldn't be with you for the rest of your life but I want to be part of your journey. I might not be the one to hold your hand through it all but I want to share a part of it. A part of my daughter's"

Lily nods as she sobs. "I'm sorry mum" her voice above a whisper.

"I'm sorry for how I made you feel during these times, Lily. I just want the best for my baby" Daisy kissed her forehead and they shared a hug.

"Thank you, Mum"

"You're welcome, dear." They leaned away from the hug. Daisy handed Lily the letter she held earlier. "Sarah is downstairs and she brought this for you from your study buddy," she said reading the name that was written on the envelope "I wanted to deliver this one personally"

"Thank you, Mum, I love you so much"

"I love you too dear. No secrets and don't get yourself into something you wouldn't be able to get away, okay?"

"Yes Mum"

"I'll call Sarah so that you can prepare for your study time" Daisy stood up to leave.

"Mum" she stopped and turned to look at Lily "How about dad? He wouldn't approve of this"

Daisy waved it off. "Don't worry about your dad, I can handle him," She winked then left the room.

Lily felt some sense of fulfillment after this heartfelt talk with her mum. It wasn't a bad idea after all.