Blood Means Everything

TWELVE

 " Aurora, it is good to see you awake," my doctor says as she walks up to me.

" is my mom going to be okay?" Astraea blurts out. Saint tightened his grip on my hand, and the doctor smiled at us reassuringly.

" My colleague should be here shortly to help further explain things," my Doctor said.

We all wait in silence until another doctor walks into the room.

It's Riona, she's the colleague he was waiting for.

" You didn't tell me she was the patient," Riona says.

" Yes, this is Aurora's case," Doctor replies.

Riona looks at me pitifully then at her clipboard.

" Aurora you're pregnant but..," Riona pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing "Your pregnancy is at risk due to you having stage three grade serous ovarian cancer," She says. We all sit in shock as the news sinks in.

I have cancer..., and I'm pregnant.

" That's impossible. My mom is very healthy." Astraea whispers, tears falling down her cheeks.

" Riona how far along am I?" I ask, staring blankly at her. "You around four months," she says.

"Is the cancer affecting my baby?" I ask, my voice quivering.

Riona nods slowly

" yes, it is. Considering the size of your tumor, you have a chance of miscarrying or your baby being born very premature," my doctor says.

My heart sinks, and I feel like all hope is lost. I sniffle, wiping a tear from my cheek. " Riona, do you mind taking Astaea home?" I ask.

I can't bear looking at Astraea. I know that if I do, I will break down, and I refuse to do that in front of her again.

Riona nods, and Astraea slowly stands up and pulls me into a tight embrace, then leaves the room with Riona. " I will leave you and your husband alone, but please press the red button if you need anything," the doctor says before leaving the room.

" Aurora, are you okay?" Saint asks. " Maybe this is all karma for the things I've done and the people I've killed or hurt," I say, tears streaming down my face.

Saint pulls me close to him and holds me tightly, kissing the top of my head. " Everything will be okay, please don't worry," He whispers.

I take a deep breath and wipe away my tears. " Do you want to know why I had stopped killing so much when I was Donna?" I ask.

Saint looks at me with curiosity in his eyes. " Aurora, that doesn't matter right now," he says softly. " There was a girl, she was only 23. She took one hundred dollars to buy her daughter something she wanted. I killed her over a hundred fucking dollars because I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn't just some abused little girl," I whisper, my hands shaking.

" I went to her funeral, and her daughter was there, on her knees begging, for her momma to come back, and I caused that. I left her with no mother," I let out a loud sob. " Aurora, you dont have to tell me this," Saint whispers, rubbing my shaky hand.

" I need to tell someone, please," I plead. Saint nods and pulls me close to him once more, his embrace comforting me. " After that day, I vowed never to leave a child without loving parents. Every day, I would check on her daughter. I would send her money to make sure she always had everything she needed or wanted," I whisper. " the little girl's name is Elisabeth, and she is now twenty-six with a husband and two little boys,"

" every night, I think about how she couldn't grow up with a mother and how her little boys won't ever know how amazing their grandmother was," A tear rolls down my cheek, and Saint wipes it away with his thumb.

"Hi, you don't have to carry this burden alone. I'm here for you, and so is Astraea. You made sure she grew up well-loved and provided for despite not having her mother by her side, and that alone makes you an amazing person. We've both done horrible things in our past, but you've made up for it," He said sincerely.

I smiled weakly and leaned into his embrace once more.

" Saint, promise me if this cancer makes you choose between saving me or our baby, you save our baby," I said, my voice trembling.

" I can't promise you that," he said softly, wrapping his arms around me tighter.