Helluva Lifestyle

Mammon's Magnificent Musical Mid-Season Special

Roxanne's POV:

I thought Blitzø would try to avoid me at all costs after being so raw and emotional with me regarding his past with Fizz, but he's been a lot more open with his emotions and inviting me over to his place when he doesn't want to be home alone while Loona's out late. He and I are watching cartoons and eating cereal in his apartment when he gets a call and puts it on speaker.

Blitzø: "Yello?"

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "Is this Fizz's former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend, Blitzø?"

Blitzo: "Well, that is a weird way to put it, but yup, that's me."

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "And I assume your girlfriend/co-worker, girlfriend of Prince Stolas, and daughter of the guy who kidnapped you and Fizz, Roxanne 'Roxie' Knolastname, is with you."

Me: "At your service."

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "This is Asmodeus."

Blitzø: "Oh, shit, the big Ozz himself! Is there a reason you're calling us on the weekend, Your Sin-Sinness? Sinfulness? Sin-*stammers*-Royal big man?"

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "You've lived rent-free in Fizz's head for years, so I can't help but feel he values your take on things."

Blitzø: "Yeah, I was the one who usually had the stronger opinions. Yeah, like, one time, he tried convincing me that juggling was cool, but it's only a little cool at best."

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "Look, he's deadset on re-entering Greed's yearly clown pageant."

Blitzø: *sarcastically* "Wow, big fucking surprise there."

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "I was hoping to have some backup in convincing him that this thing is a waste of his time."

Blitzø grabs a wedge of cheese covered in hot sauce and eats it whole before responding.

Blitzø: "What? Why? Doesn't he always win?"

Asmodeus: *over the phone* "'Cause Mammon is a selfish, manipulative piece of shit! And Fizz doesn't listen to me when I try to tell him that."

Blitzø: "Well, our special skills are killing things without giving fucks and pointing out people's flaws-"

Me: "Speak for yourself, Blitzy."

Blitzø: "Alright, count us in!"

{Time skip}

So, we pull up to Mammon's theater in a limousine.

Blitzø: "Wow, I have not been to a crowded event in years."

Fizzarolli: "I'm fine with Roxxie, but can you remind me why you're here again?"

Blitzø & I step away from Asmodeus & Fizz as the former answers the latter's question while we do what he asked us to in our way. Once we near the entrance, Asmodeus teleports away to avoid running into Mammon as we regroup with Fizz.

Blitzø: "Come on, it's just like old times, but with Roxxie in tow. We'll make sure no one gives you shit today."

Fizzarolli: "You mean besides you?"

Then, in a poof of green smoke and confetti, Mammon appears before us.

Mammon: "Hey, there he is! Now, how's my bright, shiny brand baby doing? Ready to reclaim your win another year? Yeah?"