"Stupid Boy." - A Salvis Fanfic

☆ Chapter 1 ☆

Travis' POV

I wake up to that stupid fucking alarm again. I hate the sound of it, it's too loud. I wish I could sleep forever, especially since I have to see him at school.

I drag myself out of bed and search for an outfit. I settle for the baggy purple sweater my mother gave me before she left and some shorts. Can't forget my cross necklace either, my dad would lose his mind if he saw me without it. "I look like such a fag, oh my God." I whisper in disgust while looking into the mirror. Too bad I have nothing better to wear, and at least this shirt was my mom's.

I dragged myself into the bathroom to finish getting ready and avoid looking into the mirror as much as possible. After I'm done, I pack my school bag and head out the door, avoiding breakfast (and-my-father).

I finally get to school and I tense up, dread overriding any other current emotion. There he is. Sal Fisher. That stupid boy. I hate him and his ugly faggot friends. They're so loud and stupid and annoying (and-I-wish-I-had-friends-as-close-as-they-are). I really need to invite them to my father's church sometime, they need to turn to God (I'd-do-anything-to-get-my-father-to-accept-him).

I try to avoid him when going up the stairs into the school but he says something right as I walk past him that makes me tense up and want to hide. "Morning, Travis!" I scrunch my face up angrily and glare at him from the corner of my eyes. "Shut the fuck up, you freak." I want to beat myself up for saying that to him but I can't let myself be friends with someone like that (I-wish-he'd-speak-to-me-alone-so-I-could-apologize-for-saying-that).

I stomp up the rest of the stairs and into the school, throwing my stuff into my locker angrily before class starts. I pass him and his stupid friends one more time before class starts and expect him to talk to me, but Larry just stares at me like a creep until I get far enough away from them. Weirdos (I-am-so-sorry-for-talking-to-him-like-that,-I-really-am).

During class, I can barely focus let alone keep my head up. I should've eaten before leaving but I didn't want to see my father. I doodle some random stuff on my paper instead of paying attention, it's not like I'd be able to listen anyways. I can see Sal peering over at my paper, and it's making me nauseous. He's such a fucking creep (He-gives-me-butterflies-that-I-don't-want,-please-make-it-stop)..

At the end of class, I gather my stuff together and get out as quickly as possible, avoiding a single glance towards Sal. I stumble to the bathroom, rushing into a stall and slamming it shut as fast as possible. I feel like I'm going to throw up and I don't even know why (I-can't-stop-thinking-about-him,-I'm-not-supposed-to-be-doing-this.-God-will-hate-me,-please-stop).

I need to write stuff down, my dad said writing out your sins and getting rid of the paper will get rid of your sins; so I start writing (about-him).

"I know we don't really know each other and you probably have your opinions of me. I thought maybe if I told you how I feel, things could be different. The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. I'm crazy about you. I think you're amazing! But I know these feelings are wrong. It's not the way a boy should feel. Shame swallows me whole just writing these words. My father would kill me but I can't live in his shadow forever. I just-"

I can't write any more. My whole body is trembling and I can't breathe. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and feel it in my stomach. God surely hates me at this point (and-I-bet-he-does-too). I crumple the paper up, rush out of the stall and throw it at the bathroom's trash can. Maybe I'm the stupid boy..