Sunshine Traitor (ENG)

Chapter 20: Hitoshi Shinso

This chapter is on the shorter side, but I wanted to keep it to one perspective per chapter. I hope you will still enjoy it.

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Denki has seemed nervous all day as if he expects to be jumped at any moment. It started last night when Hitoshi walked home with him after extra quirk training. Something was going on, but he didn't know what. This morning it only seemed to get worse, and when Sero didn't show up for class it seemed like the dam broke completely. And, of course, the conversation with Jiro and Ashido did no good to the whole situation either. Hitoshi is still angry with the girls, firstly for their bad timing but mostly for being stone-blind and deaf. Denki is innocent, how much more proof do they need before they finally realise it. They just don't deserve to be friends with the blonde anymore. He can't even believe that Jiro once had a relationship with Denki.

If you really love someone, you are on that person's side, you don't abandon them, you believe in them. Hitoshi won't abandon Denki, he believes in him, he always has. He will always be by his side as a friend or more... He knows he had told Denki that he was not his type, that he had no feelings for him. That wasn't a lie, at the time it really was, but now everything is different. Or he was just lying to himself because he didn't want to admit it. Either way, he knows Denki is into girls, so he knows nothing will ever come of it. So, he can only keep dreaming.

Denki is convinced that something is wrong with Sero, that something bad is going on. Hitoshi tries to convince him that it is not that bad, that there must be logical explanations for his absence. He had promised that after classes they would go together to look at his bedroom in the dormitory buildings, so that is where they are heading now.

When they enter the building, everyone looks at them strangely. Obviously, they were not expecting them. He walks with Denki to the lift to go upstairs. Waiting for the lift seems to take far too long and he is glad when he finally hears the redeeming ping through all the whispers. He quickly steps inside, and he doesn't even have to pull Denki with him, as he himself wants to leave as soon as possible. Hitoshi takes the blonde's hand in his and gently squeezes it to get his attention, convincing him that everything will be fine. His friend looks at him gratefully, but then he quickly lets go of his hand as if it were on fire. He has been so nervous and distant all day, and Hitoshi doesn't know why. Has he done something wrong?

He doesn't have much time to think about it, because the doors open again with a ping and Denki rushes out. He knows exactly which room belongs to his best friend, but he remains still in front of the door, as if he doesn't remember how to knock or open a door. Hitoshi stands next to him but keeps his distance this time. He himself knows only too well what it feels like not to want to be touched and respects his friend's comfort. Instead, he says softly, "It'll be okay, you'll see."

Denki takes a deep breath, but his voice clearly quivers when he speaks. "I've just had a bad feeling all day, like something terrible is about to happen and I can't get it out of my head." His eyes twinkle in the light and Hitoshi can see that he is trying to hold back his tears.

He doesn't know what could cause such a strong reaction in him, but all he can do is be there for his friend and try to put him at ease. "Everything will be fine." And if not, we look for a solution together. The last words remain unspoken, but sometimes a look says more than words. Denki takes one last deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Sero!"

Silence.

"Sero! It's me Kaminari."

Silence.

"May we come in?"

Silence.

Denki makes eye contact with him before carefully placing his hand on the latch and trying to see if he can open the door. The door is unlocked and slowly swings open. "Sero, we're worried about..." The blonde stops abruptly, his eyes big and looking deathly pale as if he has just seen a ghost. "No..." His voice is barely audible. "They got him." Hitoshi investigates the room in search of what is upsetting Denki so much, but he cannot find anything. It is dark and the room gives no sign of violence or any other doom scenario. "No, no, no, no..."

"Denki, what..." But before he can ask his question, his friend has already turned around and he walks away towards his own room. "Denki, wait..." Hitoshi gives chase, but he is just too late, and the door slams shut in his face. "Denki!" He knocks on the door. He tries to keep calm so as not to make the situation worse, but he feels his own panic slowly creeping up. What is going on?

"Stay away from me." His voice sounds muffled through the door, but the words hit him as hard as ever.

"Denki, let me in. Please."

"No, Hito... Shinso. You have to stay away from me." The use of his family name silenced him. They had grown so close, calling each other by their first names for weeks, for months. This hurts. Hitoshi wants to turn around to leave, as Denki clearly doesn't want to talk, but he changes his mind. His friend is upset, something has happened, he has seen something, and he is not thinking clearly now. Hitoshi must help him; he can't leave him alone now.

"No, Denki." He puts his hand gently on the door as if that way he can touch his friend on the other side. "I won't let you do this alone."

"Hitoshi... please..." His voice sounds so broken, and it makes Hitoshi think back to that one night he had found Denki in the graveyard, that one night that brought them closer together, that one night that changed their lives. "I don't want them to take you too. I don't want them to hurt you too." His voice is barely audible through the door. Hitoshi wants nothing more than to enter the room and comfort the most important person in his life. He wants to give him a hug. He is perplexed by that thought because he does not like physical contact, but he means it.

"Denki, I won't leave you alone, I promised you that, remember." He had promised that, that night he had taken him to his house. And he would not go back on that promise. He would not leave him behind. Never. Nor does he want to leave him behind, no matter what he had promised. He doesn't want to lose his relationship with Denki because of some stupid bad guys.

"Please, Hitoshi, I don't want to lose you." And that is exactly why he is not leaving now.

"Neither do I want to lose you, so let me stay, please. Let me help." There remains silence on the other side of the door and Hitoshi drops to his knees with his hand still on the door and he puts his forehead next to it. "I like you." His voice is nothing more than a whisper and he is not even sure Denki heard it on the other end. The timing seems so wrong, this is not the time to admit feelings, but Hitoshi is afraid. He is afraid he won't get another chance to express his feelings out loud if he doesn't do it now. He is afraid it will be too late if he doesn't make a move now.

It remains quiet on the other side of the door. Hitoshi continues to sit on the floor. He won't leave, he has promised. He sits there in silence for several more hours until he finally falls asleep on the uncomfortable, cold floor. He wishes he could be in Denki's warm embrace like that very first night the blonde was at his house. He wished he could put his arms around him and tell him everything would be fine. With that pinching thought, the darkness swallowed him up.

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I almost cried while writing this chapter, and it is going to get worse in the next few ones, so I don't know how I am going to handle that yet, but we will see how it goes. Also, I am participating in nanowrimo for the first time this year with another story, so I don't know how much I will be able to update on this one. I will try to write at least two more chapters. I am planning on writing a new fanfiction for nanowrimo, and I will post that once it is finished. (I can't promise that that will be at the end of november, but we will see how far we get.)