REVAMPING | Faulted Desires: A Culpa Mía/My Fault fanfic

40 - Noah

Just as I'm preparing to leave the house to meet Jenna and Lion in Jenna's car for the upcoming weekend party, a voice from behind stops me and asks, "Are you going to that party?" Nicholas. Nervously, I reply, my back facing him, "Yes," and proceed to open the door. It's our first interaction in a long while.

"Wait," he demands. Wait? For what?

"I'm going too, so I might as well come with you."

Then, I say, "I'd rather you not. I'm going with Lion and Jenna; you have your own car, take that," my back still facing him.

"Are you going to face me when you're speaking to me, or am I just going to speak to your back?" he asks, mixing playfulness with seriousness.

I turn around to face him, crossing my arms.

"So?" he inquires, as though expecting me to say something. I'm not sure why I'm so nervous; perhaps it's just strange to talk to him after two and a half months of silence.

"So what?" I retort.

"I might as well come with you," he rhetorically says, but I reply, "You might as well not." I'm aware I'm being petty, but being around him is challenging. It stirs up feelings I've been working hard to let go of.

"I wasn't asking," he declares.

"Look, Nick, whatever you're up to, don't."

"Don't what? We're going to the same place, so why take two cars?" he points out, and although he has a valid point, that's not the actual point.

"Nick..."

"Noah..." My name escapes his lips, and I'd forgotten what it felt like to hear him say my name. I quickly dismiss these thoughts and return to reality.

"Something on your mind?" he asks.

You, I want to say, but I won't give in. I've been trying to let go of him, and I can't throw all that effort away. I've been trying to forget him, the memories, the 'us.' Fuck. This is why I hate talking to him; it brings back memories I've tried so hard to suppress. This is why I've tried to avoid him.

I shake my head and turn away, fully opening the door handle and leaving the house. Footsteps follow behind. Well, it looks like he's coming along. Nicholas Leister, once he sets his mind on something, won't let go until he gets his way. It's a valuable trait, but not when it makes me uncomfortable. Part of me wants him there, while the other part screams 'NO.'

Jenna and Lion spot me heading their way, wave, and smile. Soon after, they notice Nick, their faces filled with confusion at first, then they greet him with smiles and waves. I move to the right side of the car and take my seat. Nick sits right next to me. Great. Couldn't he have chosen the passenger seat? Of course not.

"So..." Lion starts.

"So what?" Nick responds. I roll my eyes and tell Lion, "Don't ask."

Jenna catches my eye through the rearview mirror, and I silently mime, 'Save me.' Jenna smiles and offers to switch seats with Nick, understanding my discomfort.

"Yes, please," I respond, as if I hadn't practically asked her to do so.

"No, thank you. We're good here, right Noah?"

I roll my eyes once more and reply, "No, actually. I'd prefer you to move," I state.

"I'd rather not," he says, echoing my earlier comment.

"Well, I'd rather you do, so please move, Nicholas," I demand. Being this close to him, I'm unsure if I can resist. No, you must, Noah, a voice in my head insists. I heed that voice.

"Fine, then I'll move," I relent.

A little taken aback but quickly regaining his composure, he responds, "Fine by me."

Lion looks at both of us as though we're acting stupid. "Are you both children?" he exclaims.

"Technically, Noah is," Nick quips.

"Haha, you're hilarious," I retort sarcastically, rolling my eyes for the third time today. He seriously pisses me off  sometimes.

"Okay, Nick, seriously? We have somewhere to be. Sort yourselves out."

"My bad, bro," Nick responds. Yes, it is 'your bad', Nick.

Nick grins, clearly entertained by the fact that he knows he's getting under my skin.

I exit the car from my side, and Jenna takes the seat next to Nick, making my way to the passenger seat beside Lion.

"Fucking finally. Let's go," Lion urges as I fasten my seatbelt.

I glance at the rearview mirror, and Nick is looking at me, staring deep into my eyes. I meet his gaze, drawn in by his dark brown, chocolatey eyes, which are as appealing as sweets to someone with a sweet tooth.

There's palpable tension between us, but I gather myself, clear my throat, and look ahead. Forget about him, Noah. Don't let his charm seduce you. Remember, it happened once, don't let it happen again; you'll only end up disappointed, a friendly voice reminds me. I get it, I respond. Trust me, I get it.