Running In Circles || Nicholas Ruffilo

four

Nicholas

We kept our routines and stayed in our own lanes.

Cassidy was definitely being nicer to everyone else but never said a damn word near me. When it was my days to get coffee, she would just give a quick thank you and that would be it. It's been two weeks since I snapped at her in the alley and it's been a lot of her getting along with everyone else but also declining to go out with the group. 

Probably to avoid me.

I try so hard to not let these things bother me because usually there's not much that you could do to change someone's opinion of you, but this is honestly bullshit. I have not done a single thing to this girl except for call out her bullshit, and I was not the only one, but I am the only one taking the fall for it.

I can tell that everyone is worried about me; I'm definitely retreating more than normal and smoking more than normal. The truth is that for some reason, it is driving me absolutely insane. She makes me feel crazy. 

The door opens as I'm finishing my cigarette, tossing it to the ground by my feet, when I see Davis coming out. I slump against the wall, knowing that he's definitely about to give me some kind of inspirational boss speech.

"You have to let her stop getting to you," he said outright, not unkindly. 

"I know," I huffed out. 

"What is it? I've been trying to let it just have some time to resolve, but I don't get what's sitting so heavy on both of you," he said honestly. 

"It might just be me," I breathed out with a sarcastic chuckle. "She acts all fine and dandy with you guys, but she ignores me and never gave me an actual apology for treating me poorly."

Davis thinks to himself; it's funny how it feels like you can see actual gears turning in his eyes at times. "I could fire her," he poses with a sarcastic smile. "Would you hate me if I tried to force her through it?"

"What do you mean force?" 

"Like do what we did with her and Vincent, just throw her into shadowing with you?" he posed.

"I don't know, do what you want. I'm not losing sleep over it," I lied. I absolutely was. She was absolutely breaking down my perception of myself and I couldn't even begin to explain how she's earned that much power over me. 

I just went inside and went to the bathroom, both to relieve myself and gather myself. When washing my hands, I noticed how dark the bags under my eyes had gotten when I looked in the mirror. I took a few deep breaths in and out, steadying my anxious heart. I settled back into my station and finished up some details on my iPad of the tattoo that I'm about to do when Cassidy walks over. I look up at her timidly, not saying anything until she does, tucking my iPad close to my chest like a nervous kid does with a textbook. It almost feels like armor. 

"Hey, Davis said to come and shadow you for this appointment," she said calmly. It felt like everyone was watching us at least in small glances. 

"Okay, that's fine," I said simply, gesturing for her to take a seat on the extra stool. I unlocked my iPad again and pulled up the cool American traditional clown tattoo that my client requested. 

She nodded, her mouth pretty neutral. "That's cool," she said simply.

I nodded curtly and turned around to take a sip of coffee. This was the beginning of my day and I really would have preferred to not start it out this way. I swear to God this woman is giving me ulcers, I thought to myself as the coffee hits my stomach rudely. It was in knots with resentment and anxiety. All I have to do is tell her what I'm doing and talk to the client and that's it.