Poison // a.b.

12

*WARNING: THERE MAY BE SOME TRIGGERS SO PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL*
Alex POV
The ride home was short and tense, my hands were clutching the steering wheel and staring ahead while Ellie twitched and twisted her hands together.
I could tell she was thinking, she was thinking hard.
We arrived and I sat Ellie on her bed. She looked down the whole time, her hair shadowing her face. Without looking up, she started talking in a monotone.
"She showed up about ten years ago when I was four," she took a deep breath, "and something happened to my dad and she told me she was going to be my friend a-and she was, she really was."
My forehead wrinkled in confusion, but I dared not interrupt her.
"I thought she was my imaginary friend, thought I was normal, until I grew older and I realized I couldn't turn her off," she continued, "and she was getting more and more cruel, she went from a sweet little girl to that small voice you have inside your head, except she was actually there, right next to me, making me doubt every second of my life, making me do terrible things, whispering evil things in my ear, keeping me awake with horrible thoughts."
Her face was still covered, but her voice was raspy and her shoulders shook. She was sobbing.
"S-she convinced me I deserve to die. she tears you apart piece by piece. Why do you think I freaked out about the sweater thing? huh? My arms are covered in marks, she told me it'd help, she promised she promised she promised."
"Ellie, are you....?" I trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"And the funny thing is," Ellie let out a bitter laugh, "no one else sees her, only me. What a crappy stroke of luck, huh? No one can see her, but to me, she's real, she's there, I can see her, feel her, hear her, she's everywhere. I can't escape."
For the first time since she had started talking, Ellie lifted her head and looked at me with red, puffy eyes.
"So Alex, now that you know my dirty little secret, are you so sure you still care, you sure you still wanna hang out with the unstable, depressed, schizophrenic mess, I am? Huh?" she was screaming by now, spitting out words like venom. "DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH THE GIRL WHO'S FUCKING FALLING APART? BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE DID, BECAUSE THEY ALL LEFT, BECAUSE I WAS 'TOO HARD TO HANDLE'. SO HERE'S YOUR CHANCE ALEX," her face was stained with tears, her voice shaking, and I was frozen in place.
"THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO LEAVE, DON'T PRETEND, JUST LEAVE, BECAUSE IM. NOT. WORTH. IT."
She collapsed in a sobbing heap, curling up into a ball, rocking back and forth, gasping for breath.
I reached over to hold her, to comfort her and soothe her broken heart, but she flinched away from my touch.
"Don't, please," she was whispering now. "Please..."
But I held her anyways, she squirmed for a few seconds, but she collapsed into my arms and burrowed her face into my chest.
"Shhh," I rocked her back and forth, tears escaping my own eyes, seeing her so broken and alone, "I won't leave, shhh."
She shook her head violently, but I held her and held her and held her, and she fell asleep in my arms, her hair sticking to her sweaty face, her face radiating heat. I smoothed back her hair and whispered, barely audible,
"I wouldn't leave you for the world."

'''''''''

A/n wow that was intense. fun fact her explanation about her schizophrenia is copied almost word for word from a text message conversation I had when I told my friends I was schizophrenic :-) except I explained it I Internet friends so no hugs for me :-( oh well lol don't forget to vote and comment, ily all, thank you for 1.3k!
~k