Kiba..Stay (hiatus)

Hiatus

Hey guys i have some bad news about this book. i have decided not to return to any of my books, the reason that the chapter is called hiatus is cause ill keep coming back and forth to this book and the other ones i have published as well as the ones i have unpublished but i am kinda discontinuing all of them until i can actually have time to do them. i have been dealing with irl stress of being a adult with alot of expectations from both of families (my family then my bfs) i have to do all the dishes by myself, i have to find a job that well drain me out, having to save as much money for my own needs, etc. im not crying wolf i am actually cry out in stress and pain. i have to everything like im a newborn child in this really fucked up where everyone is expecting u to know everything as soon as u get out of school and r 18, well i wasnt taught anything i have to ask people for help but im denied that help cause the people i ask for help r either too fucking ignorant or too fucking arrogant to notice my struggles. im gonna be real with u guys about literally me. I am 22 years old with a personality disorder from my traumatic and abused life from my neglective and abusive parents that at the young of 10 i was sexually assaulted by my moms bf and was mentally tormented with guilt and shame that i couldnt just say no to him until i moved at the age of 14 when i asked my uncle if i can move in with him to get away HIM (my moms bf) where i already been damage with sexual, emotional trauma and i had developed MPD and depression from the bullying (ill talk about it later), i was really at a point of being really suicidal but i had develop a really bad habit of wanting to kill people (not my family just HIM) it grew really bad when my cousins would get mad at my mistakes from forgetting to do dishes, forgetting to clean or take a shower. ik they dont sound bad then normal chores but if u had the mind of a child that just couldnt grow up right then u would understand the different of chores and a slave, i got so tired of the mistreatment that i decided to live my aunt at the age of 16 but even then i still had mistakes of forgetting things but it wasnt as bad as before i had a time schedule to go by since i was in high school by now that i had remembered to take showers, to get up on time for the city bus, to do my own laundry. but even then it seemed it wasnt enough for the constant berating of my aunt and what was worse was that my cousin that somewhat just hit puberty had then decided to try me out like a sex doll so thats two assaulters. i then left that situation to want to live back with my grandma [i had lived with my grandma since i was 6 or 7 then i had to move for two things: the sexual assault and the bullying that was also going on at the same time] but my mom said that she is tired of me moving around from house to house that she called my POS (my POS dad is forbidden in my life and the title of dad or father) and told him i was to live with him cause she thought he would fair better with me then she was [more like to just get rid of her maternal responsibilities to play hooky with deadbeat, druggy bf] but no it got even more worse then before with my aunt and uncle. i was treated like a nobody by my POS i was yelled at, humilated, berated, (technically) disowned by him and what was worse that when i tried to come out to my christen family i was told i was just confused and that i had to stray away from the devil's influence and that i had to attend every church sundays with my grandma where i was definitely not welcomed with my pagan and atheist mindset cause my native family linage was killed and tortured from the pale faces (not being racist just talking about christen people) but i only had two aunts that loved me for who i was and understood my interests as well as my mental health since they would check in now and then on whither i wanted to watch my Netflix shows without my grandma hovering over me and in return i would watch their kids while they went to work (sometimes i would just sing either for me or them) at the end of 11th grade during my summer break that i went to my grandmas house and told my mom who was really taking really good care of me (okay ik i said my grandma on his side of the family is christen but she still loved me, yes ik i portrayed her as evil for not including the loving and caring side cause at the end of the either school day or night she really was loving and caring, she would get mad at one of my three aunts that lived there {not gonna say her name lets call her A for now} A would get soo pissed at me for literally no reason like she claimed i lost her bfs xbox controller when i never even touched it that whole day {she showed her friends that day who she was} or when i was just listening to my music on my 3ds utube she took just to yelled at by my grandma and aunt C just to end up throwing my 3ds at me and calling me a babycry. my grandma is a hard worker in the fields everyday and she still has time off to do what she wants to do like practice her own religion just not with me anymore) so my mom ended getting mad at him and i was able to get some of my stuff back (mostly my clothes not the stuff that my aunt payed for me like my phone and kindle tablet {he probably sold them or gave to his other daughters}) at this point i was so severely damaged physical, mentally and emotionally i had developed severe depression, 7 personalities (my MPD personalities), social and regular anxiety, hatred of any guy (except my bf and guy friends), adhd. 

        I tell u guys this stuff cause i have to bottle up some stuff from my bf and his family or else hes mom tries to compare her trauma with mine and thats really fucked but it angers me that he forgets that i can now get vertigo and not so good heart palpations so he'll just walk by the bathroom while im having a vertigo attack until yell out for him to realize my condition but even then his mom has to now everything that is going on just to brush my medical to the side so she can talk to my bf about his work like im not going through stuff that i clearly cant just pause for her (yes she sometimes pisses me off cause she wants everything to be about her knees being janky and that shes so sore and stressed {well its life honey}) ik he doesnt sound really caring but he is its just hes mom and brother piss him off alot when all he wants to do is cuddle me and at least do stuff with me like watch movies on the sofa or go on a actual date without his parents being present, he really does stuff for me like massage my back when i get cramps or my spine is giving me trouble, buys me medical supplies for my messed up organs like vitamins, a smartwatch to monitor my heart rate; he buys me evens gifts when he has enough money. he had a not so pleasant relationship with a girl before me so he really hates when we argue cause he thinks that ill end up leaving him when he was the only guy to love me for who i am and he is literally my yellow person as i am his yellow person as well so we owe each others their lives, without him i would have committed suicide before i graduated and made it to my 18th birthday and he would have done the same if i didnt help him through his medical situation (not gonna talk about it). So we love each other even when we fight and get each other to a point we still forgive each other cause thats how u know the bond is strong even if we both think it isnt, the gods of love and empathy that helped out bonds grow and grow. 

    srry for making it so freaking long when most authors make it short or really short with or without explanations except for work, school, life but i just wanted u guys to understand my actual reason why im somewhat discounting my books until i can have actual time to myself and when i can write with passion cause i have been told by my literature teachers that i have a real talent for creative writing and that i would grow up to be a wonderful writer if i retire from being a cryptozoologist or when i have time in my main job, but they always told me to never give up on it and that i CAN make it when i have thoughts of quieting  in this harsh world. So with a heavy heart i bid u guys a see ya later until i see u guys on the flipside🙋🙋