Lalisa | jenlisa

Chapter 4

JENNIE

"Jennie, what's wrong with you? You're not 'fully present' today." April asked.

We were reunited with Four, sitting at a table in the crowded cafeteria. I sighed, she was right.

The meeting with Lalisa had mentally checked me. Depression once again took over my body and soul. I bluntly pulled the long collar of my turtleneck away from my neck so that the darkened hickey was visible. The boy grimaced while his sister leaned over to me.

"You have no idea how disappointed I am." She hissed angrily, straightening the collar. I could understand it. It must have been painful to watch your best friend beat herself up and let herself be taken advantage of by an ungrateful person.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled tearfully, but my voice failed.

Then April sat next to me and hugged me, comforting me.

"Everything's fine, Jennie."

Even if she was angry with Lalisa and I's relationship, she was on my side. That was the definition of friendship, in my eyes. The tears flowed uncontrollably and my leg started shaking, which always predicted a panic attack. Four pushed his glass of water towards me without a word.

"I know you're in a poop situation, but we're here for you." The girl held out the liquid to me,

"Drink this and then we'll go to the restroom, where you can vomit in peace." I picked up the glass and drank it in one gulp.

Weak, that word described me perfectly. I always wanted to be strong, but I was only strong when I was weak. I stood up with the bag over my shoulder.

"Can I be alone for a moment? I'll come back straight away."

"Sure. We'll wait here." Four assured. while April seemed too worried.

But she knew me well enough to know that I needed this. I was still so grateful for their help.

I was a flight animal and flight animals never stuck together, they always fled alone.

With long strides and hiding my face behind my dyed hair, I went to the restroom. When I got there, the first thing I did was check if there is someone else in the room.

Relief washed over me when this wasn't the case. Without hiding in a cubicle. My hands dug a pill bottle out of my pocket. One to calm myself down, to breathe regularly, to stop the trembling and racing heart. Just one to be able to function like a normal person again. With a sip from my water bottle, I took the pill.

I had been struggling with panic attacks for a while now, but the process was still incredibly cruel. Dara and Chaerin took me to one psychologist who prescribed these pills to me as a preventive measure, now they were my doomed rescue ring. Suddenly the door opened.

In a flash, I put the bottle of pills in my pocket and washed my hands. Lalisa came in, stood next to me, her gaze directed at me.

"Hey, Jennie." She greeted casually.

Everything was spinning inside me, but something stopped me from throwing up. I silently dried my hands with the paper towels. Lalisa leaned against the sink, her strong scent wafting into my nose.

"I wanted to ask you something." My eyes found her brown ones, her indescribably homely eyes.

"Do you want to come to my place today? After school?" She smiled warmly. I froze.

This person was the reason I was weak, would I suppress the pain just to be with her? To pretend for a few hours as if we loved each other, as if everything was fine, as if it were I okay?

"I have tutoring." Lie.

"But after that I can come!" April will kill me.

"Great!" Lalisa came closer.

"I'm really looking forward to it." She pressed her lips against my cheek. The heat immediately shot into my face and I was blushing. Lalisa went to the door.

"See you then!"

"I love you." I said quietly and the door slammed shut.