Lalisa | jenlisa

Chapter 8 (Ending)

LALISA

I stared at her through the bookstore window, call me crazy. But finally seeing her again after five years was something special. She now wore glasses, had long brown hair and her delicate, pale skin was full of tattoos, it flattered her. Such incredible beauty. She was just talking to another woman who bought a hardback book from her, a broad smile on her pink lips. The long time was probably extremely good for her; she seemed more alive.

My heart beat wildly at this happy sight. She stayed in town and now worked in this decent bookstore. Did she live in the same house? Alone? I moved away completely after I graduated from high school far away to a big city and went to my dream after, becoming an alternative model, with success. Did she recognize me in magazines or online? I had some pale purple hair in between piercings and tattoos. I've barely grown still. Would she recognize me if I went in now?

The woman at the checkout put the newly purchased book in her bag, said goodbye and then walked out of the store. When she spotted me she stopped in her tracks.

"What are you looking for here?" Her voice was cold and it let my blood freeze.

"Hello, April." I said sheepishly.

"How are you and Four?" April put on the sunglasses that previously served as a headband on her head, it was the middle of August after all and the sun was shining brightly.

"She's better off without you, Lalisa." I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat.

"I'm so terribly sorry. Really-"

"Nobody wants to hear that." She interrupted me.

The twins didn't like me even back then, but who could blame them? I stayed silent, that was what I was best at.

"I ask you for one thing." April put her hand on my shoulder.

"If you don't have true feelings for Jennie, don't you dare come back into her life."

My gaze focused on the floor. True feelings? Were there any untrue feelings? Aren't all feelings true in their own way?

"She may pretend to be independent, but you are and will remain her weak point, even after all these years." Her hand detached from my body. I looked up, the woman in front of me smiled.

"IAdiós puta!" She then got into a car and drove away.

I dully entered the bookstore with wobbly knees and clenched fists. The enchanting smell of books and coffee enveloped me. Jennie was nowhere to be found. I decided to take a closer look at some books. Was this her dream job?

As close as we were, we rarely talked about such things. What was it all about? Me, of course.

"Oh, good afternoon! I beg your pardon, I was in the camp." A cheerful voice chirped.

Jennie's voice.

"Can I help you in some way?"

My back was turned to her and I didn't want to turn around, she didn't deserve it. She was doing great without me and I didn't want to be the painful thorn on the rose of her life, rather the water that helped her bloom.

"No, thank you."

With shaking fingers, I put the book down again, let a piece of paper fall out of my pocket and took big steps towards the door.

"Hey, you've lost something!" Jennie called after me. I held back my tears.

"It's not mine."

And just like that I was out of the woods.

The piece of paper, the sixteenth page of her notebook, was now back in her possession. Back then it had the bittersweet words 'I love you, Lalisa.'

Years ago, five years ago, I crossed out the last word and corrected it.

"I love you, Jennie." I whispered against the warm wind.

END