𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 - kiara carrera

- 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

KIARA CARRERA SWITCHED her phone off. Messages from the boys continued going through, but she didn't feel like opening them right now. She couldn't find the perfect excuse to not see them today. To not see her. She didn't want to write out an excuse, because a part of her longed to drive over to the cut and visit them. She longed to speak to Mika again, to catch up on everything, to be friends again.

But last night cut her deep. All those feelings she convinced herself were false care rushing back. It took her an entire year to believe she was making it all up, all for that same firey rush to sprint through her soul the moment she heard her voice again. It was all too painful. She couldn't bare go through it another time. Pretending to be friends when all you really want is to be more than that.

For a year, she imagined herself seeing Mika again. Reuniting with her. She planned out everything she'd say, everything she'd do, everything that would happen after that. Every night, she went to sleep to the thought of it. To this false scenario she'd made up in her head.

But Kie never really believed she'd come back.

And all those words never left her mouth.

She couldn't do anything.

Once again, she was stuck. Not knowing what to do. Not knowing what was going on between them. So many words left unsaid by the gleam of their eyes. So many times she'd been silenced by the sicky sweet smile that could only belong to Mika Riley.

She just couldn't. She couldn't put herself through that torture all over again. She couldn't go back to the way it was before. Playing pretend. Acting like she wasn't dying to be closer whenever they shared a bed. Acting like she wasn't breaking inside when she watched her kiss others at parties. Acting like she wasn't completely in love with her.

Surely, Mika felt it too. Surely, it wasn't just all in her head.

Once again, these thoughts plagued her mind and once again she cursed herself. Even while she knew Mika was just there, sitting on a chair just a few minutes down the road, these same thoughts continued chasing her.

Why did she come back? Why did she return?

Kiara knew she'd be forced to face her some day soon, but today wasn't that day. She wasn't ready yet. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready. Last night had completely blindsided her and she didn't know how to process it.

How were the boys so settled already?

Even when she questioned it, she knew the answer. Because they didn't feel for Mika what she felt for her. Because they weren't left totally heartbroken when she left. They were happy to have her back; she was confused. Beyond confused.

The screen on her phone brightened again. This time, it was an unknown number. Calling her.

Kie sighed. She wasn't strong enough to decline it, nor was she brave enough to accept it. Her stomach churned, twisted and knotted in on itself. Anxiety pressed itself down against its chest.

The phone rung out.

She could breathe again.

Until she couldn't.

you have one new voicemail

Who even left voicemails these days?

Kiara tried, so desperately hard, to be negative. To convince herself that she didn't care. But she knew from the moment the notification came through, she was going to listen to it.

"Hi, babe!" An excited voice screeched from her speakers, causing Kie's chest to pang. It was her. It really was her.

"Come save me, please! These boys are driving me insane."

A hand managed to find its way to Kiara's chest. She felt frozen in time. Her voice made her body float in sensations she could only describe as electrifying. The voice message was so casual, but felt like so much more to Kie. She'd dreamed of seeing her again for so long. Hearing her voice again.

And it hadn't changed one bit. Not one thing about Mika Riley had changed. All those wounds Kie had put so much care into healing were all ripping wide open once again. Her organs were torn apart and she wasn't sure what to do.

How was Mika speaking so normally when Kie couldn't even muster the strength even pick up the phone to speak back to her?

"Girl, I miss you. Sleepover tonight, yeah? Like old times?"

Her heart sunk.

Just like old times.

Was she really prepared to do this all over again?

A cruel, self-hating part of Kie wanted to do it. To play the part and feel all those horrific, yet extraordinary feelings again. To experience all those things she could only experience when Mika was by her side. She knew it would break her, that it would tear her apart all over again, but she wanted to do it.

Kiara knew that there was nothing in this world that could top the feeling she only got around Mika. It was otherworldly.

She knew what she was going to do and she cursed herself for it. It was self-sabotage. But she'd run herself over again and again if it meant she could see Mika.

"Where are you going?" her mom called from the kitchen.

"Out. I'll be back tomorrow."

AUTHOR'S NOTE
super short chapter ik, i promise they'll get longer soon, im just slowly introducing the plot
love, tay </3