"This can't be happening," Wolf wailed as he and his friends watched the evening news later that same day.
They'd left the parade route thinking all was well. The Santa had been freed from the Bad Guys' car, people could move on with their holiday shopping and parade-watching, and Christmas could go forward as planned.
"But then everything had gone wrong because of one annoying, broken streetlight! What were the odds that Big Nick would go up in flames?" Wolf asked.
"Lots of odds" princess says.
"The odds were low, those were the odds. But today, those odds seemed to be stacked against us, the Bad Guys"
"How?"
"The whole point of Christmas morning is that no one is around to stop us from maximum heisting!" Piranha screamed as he glared at the TV.
Snake's head drooped. "But - but -we were going to rob the bank! And now we can't because of some dumb Santa?!"
"You take that back right now!" Webs snapped.
"Santa is a criminal hero who deserves our respect, in balloon form or otherwise." Snake glared at her.
"Uh snake I don't think Santa is a criminal" princess says.
"Oh yeah, then why doesn't he break into people's house huh?"
so Webs explained, "He's broken into more homes than anyone, and he's never been caught!"
Snake rolled his eyes. That wasn't exactly on the same level as the stuff that they the Bad Guys- had done during their illustrious criminal careers.
Piranha sobbed, then screamed, as he cycled through emotion after emotion. First he was angry, then he sunk into depression, and then he finally shouted out, "What's even the point of anything?" He flopped miserably onto the couch in their lair, then just as suddenly perked up.
"Unless.." he glanced around at his buddies and said, "And hear me out on this: If we set our docks back twenty-four hours and go to sleep right now, maybe when we wake up, none of this will have happened. Yeah?" He grinned desperately, showing his rows and rows of dagger-sharp teeth. "C'mon. Night, night." He closed his eyes and began to fake-snore
softly.Shark dropped his fins on his buddy's shoulders and told Piranha, "You're experiencing the five stages of heist-loss. Don't worry, we'll get through this together."
"That's what you did?" Princess asked.
"There was nothing we can do" wolf says.
"Well there's got to be something you could've done"
"Piranha stared up at his pal, tears streaming down his face. "There's nothing to get through" he blubbered.
"EVERYTHING IS FINE! I haven't been counting down the days since our last Holiday Heist-tacular. I'm not crying. You're crying!"
"Piranha was depressed the most" wolf and the others laughed, piranha sees princess giggling.
"You have to go into that detail" he growls.
Wolf stepped in front of the two of them, hoping to stop Piranha's spiraling emotions from spinning even further out of control. "Look, he said calmly. "If destroying that Santa balloon was all it took to cancel-
-Christmas, then all we have to do is re-create it and-boom! Christmas is back!"
"How were you gonna do that?" Princess asked.
"Why don't you asked webs"
Webs whooped to get the gang's attention. Her whoop sounded like an air horn and it was a surprisingly loud sound coming from a tarantula. "That's the sound of all our problems being solved," she informed her crew with a cunning grin. "Because I've already made something better...."
"What was it webs?"
YOU ARE READING
THE BAD GUYS: a very bad holiday
AdventureIt's Christmas and we all know that means ... time for the heist of the year! They may be Bad Guys, but they are working on a plan to get all the goods this season Get ready for A Very Bad Holiday special in this new novelization. As the bad guys te...