A Brainless Dude's Thoughts

Broken balance

I have so much to say I don't even know what to write.

It's petty jealousy, it's instability, it's the fragility of my core and the toughness of my will fighting constantly.

I'm like broken glass that has lost its shine and watches the sand dancing and whirling in the blue shades of the waves.

I want everything. I want what I don't have because i am a child who hasn't learned to be grateful yet. I watch with bright eyes full of envy and a sharp like feeling takes shape deep in my heart.

I want my mother to love her son.

I want to be cool and talented. I want to be genuinely excited about things. I want to marvel in nostalgia of times that make me feel like i've lived a good life. I want to be confident, kind, strong, loving.

I want my mom to love me.

I know life is simple, I want it to be simpler. Life, please, life please be gentle with me, please let me be loved and joyful.

Please let me feel stable.
My broken balance goes everywhere with me. My private sun rises at the horizon of my mind but oh so soon do the shadows invade its light. It's the everlasting fight between my liveliness and my fears.

The battlecry, some days, some nights, some live, some die... That's how it goes right ? In the way of the samurai, some fight, some bleed, sun up to sun down. Yeah, I think this is it. Funny how nothing makes sense yet each little moment feels so precious.

Look at you. Look at you and how far you've come. You certainly lost some things along the way but isn't that how life is? Take pride in knowing you're trying to be better every day. Maybe, just maybe, you shine more than you think.