Not meant to be

The heart strings

It was an ordinary day at school boring as usual until my heart stung. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling since it's happened twice before, would this be the end of me. I hadn't liked anyone like him, but this was different, HE was different. I hadn't have these feelings for him for the couple months I've known him. I didn't know if I should tell my friends or not or is this just me being stupid? I couldn't tell anyone but...I had to tell SOMEONE. I had a number of an old friend I had, we didn't talk much but it was still somebody.  I had poured my heart out and all I got was a nothing! She didn't answer me at all. I had thought these feelings would end in a couple days or perhaps a couple weeks. I hadn't told many people I had only told two. I hadn't told my best friend yet. Though this would've bothered her that she wasn't the first one told but it was a lot to bear. I had to tell her though but was would she do? Would she get mad at me. My other friend had liked him at one point so we were liking the same guy. I thought she might've disapproved of it since my other friend liked him too. I told her two weeks after I told my other friend and she didn't really care I liked him, but she tried to get us together. I had two classes with him I was so happy id thought I had hidden the fact I liked him very well but others said it was obvious. I looked at him a lot...maybe a little too much. I stared at him at lunch, in the hallways, in class basically every chance I got to see him I took that chance. My best friend said this was very unhealthy she still fed into my delusions like a good friend would. I got my hopes high a little too high, me and my friend thought about marriage, kids and everything and beyond that. I had been staring at him for a couple minutes I hadn't even realized it and my friend jabbed me to snap out of it. Turns out I had been staring at him across the cafeteria for the past five minutes not listening to a word she had said. This had lasted for months id stare at him we didn't talk too much but we talked enough to make me happy. I talked about him a lot enough to make someone go crazy, which would be my best friend. She got annoyed about it quickly but she didn't say anything but it was obvious. I talked about it almost every day, every second anytime of the day when something so small happened. I know had told a couple people and talked even more about him to them, did it annoy them definitely but I couldn't care, but I couldn't realize I was rambling about him either. I wanted him do badly but could I have him. I didn't know that answer but it has to be him like look at him he's probably dated dozens of people. It was stupid everything was stupid I cried a couple times because of this. I had a lot of dreams about him even my friends had dreams of him and me. Everything was pointing to us dating so would it happen? I hope so I really do. The crying turned into more than just tears it was tears of pain I couldn't get the courage to ask him out at all.