AOT Short Stories & One Shots

Panty Raid (Connie x OC)

"Alright, boys. You know the drill." Connie sized up his recruits. Armin, the strategizer. Jean, the lookout. And Eren, the extractor. Connie himself had taken on the role of leader/bait. Should their plan backfire, he alone would bear the blame. Of course, a plan this flawless was sure to succeed.

"I'm nervous," Armin said, wringing his hands together. "What if someone wakes up? What if Karma doesn't take the bait?"

"Oh, she'll take the bait," Connie said, grinning.

"Dude, she's totally crushing on Levi. It's not gonna work." Jean shook his head.

"Yeah," Eren agreed. "No offense Connie, but you oughta let one of us handle the seducing."

"Sorry boys. My mind's made up."

"You're just hoping to get laid." Jean noogied Connie's buzzed head.

"Um, yeah. Karma's seriously hot. Like, ridiculously hot. Of course I want to get laid."

"So this whole panty raid thing is just an excuse for you to shoot your shot with Karma?" Armin said, giving Connie a frown. "What are we gonna do with a bunch of girl's panties anyway? And won't they notice them missing like right away?"

Connie folded his arms. "I hand-picked this team because I firmly believe we share the same values. A panty raid isn't merely an excuse to steal a bunch of girl's underwear, it is an opportunity for men to unite as one. I'm talking friendship. Comradery. Justice. Freedom."

The others nodded sagely.

"Alright," Eren said, cracking his knuckles. "I can get behind that. Run us through the plan one more time."

"Right." Connie pointed to each member in succession. "Jean and Armin, you two will stand outside the girl's barracks and give the signal if something goes wrong. Remember the signal?"

Jean and Armin cawed like ravens.

"Beautiful," Connie said. "Eren, your job is to sneak inside without waking up Mikasa or Sasha and steal at least one pair of panties. Top drawer to the right. As for me, I've got the most important job of all. I'll be distracting Karma, the lightest sleeper in the Scout regiment."

"Do you really need to seduce her? Couldn't you just find another reason to draw her out of her room?" Armin said.

"Don't worry. If she doesn't take the bait, I've got a backup plan in mind."

"Shouldn't we discuss the logistics of your backup plan?" Armin said, voice etched with skepticism.

"Alright, fine. I don't technically have a backup plan. Just trust me on this, alright?"

"I trust you, Connie," Jean said. "It's foolproof—cause if Eren fails, you'll score Karma's panties."

"That's the goal."

* * *

Jean and Armin were in position outside the barracks, ready to squawk if anyone came to foil their plans. With a tactful nod at his backup team, Connie slipped inside. The girls' barracks were a mirror of the boys' with stone corridors and puddles outside of the washrooms.

Connie rolled his shoulders and made his move, slipping an envelope under the bedroom door where Mikasa, Karma, and Sasha were peacefully sleeping. Karma was a light enough sleeper to wake up at the envelope's gentle whoosh sound, which was Connie's pretense for luring her out in the first place. With the lightest sleeper in the regiment out of the way, Eren could make the extraction with little risk of discovery.

Everything hinged on Karma reading the letter from her "secret admirer" and taking the bait. Connie, of course, was that secret admirer, though it was no secret to anyone who paid close enough attention. When she was around, he either tried too hard to be funny or froze up entirely, depending on whether he was trying to get her attention or was faltering under it.