Down To Ride

34. Searching

Spencer James

"I just feel like I can't get nothin' right, Mrs. B" Spencer expressed as he finished the remainder of his breakfast. It was the following morning after his disagreement with Olivia, and Spencer was in desperate need of advice from Mrs. Baker.

"You can get it right, you're just being stubborn" Laura began. "I am more than sure that you know deep down, Olivia would never ask you to not work or to stop pursuing your passion in your field. But even if she were to...why would it bother you to that extent?" she inquired, causing Spencer to think for a moment.

"I don't have an answer, truthfully" Spencer told her and Laura twisted her mouth.

"I have an answer but I don't think you'll like it" Laura warned.

"You can tell me...I won't get upset" Spencer promised.

"You have an addiction to working" Laura stated and Spencer furrowed his eyebrows.

"Addicted? To working?" Spencer questioned and Laura nodded. "Me? As in Spencer James?" he pointed at himself and Laura nodded once more.

"Have you've ever considered it a...trauma response?" Laura questioned and Spencer practically sat in silence. "It's one thing to be passionate about something...but you seem to never fully be satisfied with where you're at. You're always wanting more. And though being ambitious is great, it should not be a costs of yourself and others around you" she continued.

"I've...never looked at it from that perspective" Spencer stated in pure shock.

"Life is not just about you, Spencer. Especially now that you're married and you have a family. It's about those around you as well. When your work starts to cause a strain in your livelihood, it's time for some serious self-reflecting" Laura told him. "From the time I've known you, you've been serious about your business. Again there's nothing wrong with ambition, but you're too consumed with wanting to obtain access and achieve status" she explained.

"But everyone should want to be successful in life" Spencer argued.

"But at what cost?" Laura rhetorically questioned. "You will not die if you choose to take more time off or even reduce your hours to help your wife, my daughter, who is struggling. The point I'm trying to make here is...do the right thing" she stated.

"You know what... I've got a lot of reflecting to do" Spencer said and Laura agreed. "Thank you for your thoughts" he continued and Laura nodded her head. He finished the last of his coffee before removing himself from the kitchen table.

Spencer then placed his dish in the sink before giving Angel and Kross some goodbye love. "Aight...I'm off to the shop. I may or may not be back in a few hours. I ain't see Liv this morning so give her my love" he said and Laura nodded her head.

"Speaking of the princess" Laura smiled as she'd seen Olivia from a distance. "Good morning, Livvie!" she exclaimed.

"Morning" Olivia entered the kitchen, walking past Spencer. She hadn't acknowledge him, which he expected to happen. Olivia gave Angel and Kross some love before making her own plate of breakfast.

 "Aight I'm out" Spencer chunked up a peace sign, exiting the kitchen. Olivia rolled her eyes as she walked towards the table, sitting down to begin eating her breakfast.

***

"And here's what I cam up with!" one of Spencer's employees, Kayla, shared. She handed him her iPad so he could see the prototype she created.

"Bathing suits?" Spencer inquired and Kayla nodded her head.

"I see you're not all the way sold..." Kayla began. "I understand your main idea is affordable and comfortable street wear...but why not venture out and add more to your collection? I think you'd be doing yourself a disservice by not taking advantage of the warm weather we get out here" she explained.