Warrior Cats Oneshots (OPEN)

Alderpaw And Sandstorm

(( ALL OF THIS IS PLATONIC, DON'T GET ANY WEIRD IDEAS SOBSS... BUT ANYWHO, Some good old bonding requested by: 

I hope you like it! I had to completely refresh my memory on the relationship between Sandstorm and Alderheart/paw because honestly I haven't read about them in forever, but enjoy! ))

** Potential TW? Self Deprecation and thoughts of death :( **

* * * * * * * * * * * *

A soft light flooded from the entrance of the den, indicating that the morning was just on the horizon. Blinking lightly, the reddish ginger tom lay there quietly, partially blinded by the few slivers of sunlight that managed to make its way through the cracks of the den. Just his luck. 

He simply lay there for a bit, trying not to think about the day ahead of him. He had training with Molewhisker, hunting with Sparkpaw and her mentor. All of these thoughts swarmed in his mind, he was going to fail miserably, no, he had been failing miserably, he would never become what his family wanted him to be, he would never live up to anyone's expectations. Just these mere thoughts seemed to paralyze him, leaving him lying flat on his side, trying not to stir in case any of the other apprentices saw him awake and tried to nudge him out of his nest.

Unfortunately, he was out of luck there when Sparkpaw seemed to jerk upwards, excited for the morning ahead of her, unlike her uneasy brother. "Alderpaw!! Alderpaw wake up!" She whispered, quickly heading over to him and prodding him lightly with her front paw. "It's almost time for the dawn patrol! Maybe Squirrelflight will let us go on one!" She purred excitedly, watching him stir slightly with her inquisitive emerald gaze. He felt guilty for not being able to share her enthusiasm. "Sorry, Sorry I'm getting up." He said softly, sitting upwards slowly as he looked at his sister.

Her expression had now morphed into one of curiosity and confusion. "Are you feeling okay? You look...disheveled to say the least." Sparkpaw commented, her head tilted to the side ever so slightly as she sat down in front of him, scanning him over as if she expected him to suddenly drop dead in front of her. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Just a bit sore from yesterday is all." Alderpaw responded, giving her an ingenuine smile that she didn't seem to return, she was his sister, of course, she could see right through his excuses and lies. He just felt guilty that he had been doing such a terrible job hiding it.

"Are you sure..?-" She said softly, before seemingly coming to a pause. Her green gaze averted to her paws for a moment. "Of course I'm sure. Now come on, let's go get some breakfast, okay?" Alderpaw suggested, and it seemed to take Sparkpaw's mind off the issue in front of her. "..Okay, but just know that I really, REALLY care about you alright? and that if you need anything, I'll always be here for you, I'm your sister after all." Sparkpaw said, giving him a warm smile that for a moment, Alderpaw seemed to reciprocate, despite the foreboding that lingered in his mind ever so quietly. "Of course, let's go then." He smiled softly, stretching a bit before following his sister out of the apprentice's den. It wasn't that he didn't want to reach out to her, its just that he couldn't. He couldn't weigh her down, she was his sister, and he couldn't risk her entire future being ruined just because he was some kind of dead weight that no one wanted around. He didn't want her to worry, and he didn't want her to feel guilty. He loved his sister, and he just wanted her to be happy, no matter what.

But these things remained just a thought running through his mind, only to be never spoken of, as he followed his sister into the bright and bustling camp, that was meant to be his home. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

As the morning faded off into the afternoon, he, his sister, and their mentors were now training together, practicing hunting crouches, hunting tactics, tail signals, how to smell your prey, how to track it, how to move, catch said prey, and other things along those lines. It was honestly overwhelming, so many things to learn in such limited time. He remembered as a kit looking at hunting as if it were some kind of game you played when you were bored, catching moss balls and butterflies was certainly much easier than catching prey with teeth and claws and oftentimes, powerful backlegs.

And of course, he had to learn this the hard way. A small rabbit was sitting near a small berry bush, just chowing down on these berries as if it couldn't see the four cats watching them. "See that over there?" Molewhisker prompted softly, careful not to raise his voice as they all watched the brown rabbit sitting there idly. "A rabbit! Can I catch it?? Please??" Sparkpaw immediately piped up, her voice remained quiet despite the clear excitement that bubbled out of her. "Hmm..Why don't we let Alderpaw catch it this time?" Molewhisker suggested, looking down at him for a moment. Alderpaw felt his heartbeat quicken suddenly. "Oh!..Er..You'd have much better luck if Sparkpaw caught it..She is really..much better at hunting." Alderpaw said softly, averting his gaze from the rest of the cats as if their eyes were burning him.

"But you don't know what you are capable of unless you try." Molewhisker pointed out, but it didn't seem to soothe the young tom's nerves. He had tried, so many times, so, so hard. And he always ended up failing, they either hurt him or ran away, they were too fast or too strong. And what was he? A mousebrain, a mousebrain incapable of hunting or fighting or anything that would be of any use to the clan.

The thoughts seemed to dance around him, laughing and jeering like it was some kind of joke.

He was a joke.

He was pathetic, useless, nothing.

Tears pricked at the corners of his amber eyes as he felt a paw gently touch his shoulder. He thought it was Sparkpaw, but he wasn't too sure. As he had already dropped into a crouch and stalked the rabbit. Being ever so careful not to..make noise.

A branch snapped beneath his paw, and the rabbit became high alert, before darting into the bushes frantically. This mere action filled Alderpaw with rage, he wasn't useless!! HE WASN'T USELESS.

The tom quickly darted after the rabbit, being whacked by brambles and scratched by branches, as the rabbit nearly outruns him. He could hear his clanmates behind him but it was all a blur, the blood roared in his ears as he seemed to float on air, chasing the rabbit through thick and thin as he kept going. Ahead of him was a large rock wall, and then he realized, he'd backed the rabbit into the corner. The rabbit looked around in a panic, not finding an escape route as Alderpaw quickly approached, preparing himself for the pounce until suddenly, he had gotten too close.

The rabbit launched itself at him, its back legs kicking at his face viciously until Alderpaw fell to the ground, letting out a screech of pain as he held his now scratched-up and bleeding face. The rabbit quickly scurried away as his clanmates approached. "Alderpaw!!!" His sister's voice rang out, fear and concern laced into it as she ran towards him with wide eyes. Alderpaw got up suddenly, holding his face with his paw and looking at his clanmates with horror and embarrassment, his breathing was rapid, and tears ran down his face like a waterfall as he stood there shakily. "Alderpaw..I'm so so sorry-" Molewhisker said softly, guilt and pain evident in his gaze as he took a few steps towards him. The rest of them looked back at him with the same horror until suddenly, a scream was heard. "GET AWAY FROM ME."

It wasn't until he saw the concern on the other's faces, that he realized it was him who had screamed, it was him who had his paw now raised, ready to slash at his mentor out of fear, to make him go away. Choking on another sob, he quickly ran back into the woods, away from his clanmates despite their calls. He couldn't face them, he needed to run, run far far away until no one would ever find him, he was such a burden, he'd failed at such a simple task, it was his fault.

It was all his fault.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Alderpaw had finally slowed his running into a brisk walk as he wandered through the woods, trying to ignore the throbbing in his face from the rabbit's attack, he was lucky he hadn't lost an eye over his recklessness. it had begun to grow dark out and it was now a bit chilly. But he didn't care, he couldn't go back to the camp, ThunderClan would never want him back. Yet still a part of him yearned for his sister, his mother, his family, and his home.

He couldn't go back.

He swallowed thickly, trying not to allow himself to cry again, he needed to survive out here on his own now, he couldn't just break down crying every time he had one mere thought.

But that's what he always did, he was sensitive, wimpy, embarrassing.

His brisk walk had now slowed to just a few steps forward here and there, he was tired, his body felt heavy and he just wanted to give up, just lay in this clearing and pretend he wasn't real. The brief memory of his deceased siblings haunted him. Why did they have to die? and why did he have to survive instead? His siblings would've been better than him in so many ways, brave, fearless, confident, loyal. A good clanmate, a good sibling... Not like him

He should've died, not them.

At this point, he'd entirely given up, falling to the hard earth as sobs racked his body, the tears stung as they hit his wounds. He just wanted it to stop, it was too much, and now he was left pitifully laying there as he began to scream all of his pain away, it was a dreadful sight. 

Suddenly, he stopped crying, at the sound of pawsteps approaching, he was immediately on high alert, quickly turning around to find the source. suddenly, his eyes finally landed on a soft sandy colored she-cat, her soft green eyes watching him in shock as she made her way towards him. Sandstorm.

Alderpaw hiccupped, now frozen in place as she approached, concern evident in her wise gaze. "Alderpaw?? What happened? Why did you run off? And what...who hurt you??-" She practically flung the questions at him as he stood there pitifully, and it only overwhelmed him further. She wasn't supposed to be here, he was supposed to be all alone. "Alderpaw..." She finally said after a minute or two of silence. and it wasn't until she spoke that he realized he was now crying again, Tears streaming down his bloodied face pathetically as the elder approached him, and pulled him in for a hug. This time, Alderpaw didn't back away or run though.

He remained buried in his grandmother's soft fur, still bawling his eyes out like an upset kit despite how much the warmth of another cat soothed him. "I'm sorry." He whimpered out, trying to control his sobbing despite how weak he felt right now. "I'm not good enough for this clan, I shouldn't even be here, I shouldn't be alive."

He was honestly unaware that his thoughts were beginning to flow through his words as he spoke. He couldn't see Sandstorm's face right now, but he guessed that she was concerned, or confused at the very least. "Take deep breaths." She soothed softly, trying to help him regain composure as he continued to cry. And over time, he did. Following Sandstorm's gentle breathing and copying it, his sobs eventually turned to sniffles as his crying subsided. "I heard that something hurt you...can I see?" Sandstorm requested, clearly trying not to mention the fact that he had been attacked by a *rabbit* of all things. But Alderpaw relented, backing away a bit so that Sandstorm could examine his injured face. 

"Ouch. That has to sting then?" She spoke softly. "Here." She turned around and grabbed a small poultice that had been made rather recently. She took some of it and applied it to his wound, it stung a bit but it wasn't nearly as bad as it was before. Alderpaw winced, trying not to move until Sandstorm finished. She wiped her paws in the dirt carefully to signify she was done, and Alderpaw let out a small breath. "That was dock, it'll help your wound heal." She stated, sitting down carefully as she seemed to watch him for a moment longer. 

"I brought it with me just in case I found you out here...When you ran off Sparkpaw was in a complete frenzy, and Molewhisker was..devastated, to say the least. We've been searching for you since then." She said softly, allowing her gaze to wander all around before it finally landed on Alderpaw again, who was shifting around nervously where he sat. Why did he have to hurt and concern everyone he loved?? what was wrong with him??? Sandstorm seemed to notice the fidgeting, so she lightly placed her paw on top of his.

"You mean a lot to the clan, you know that right? Sometimes we are good at one thing but not the other, and that's okay because we don't need to be perfect at everything, and just because you're not good at one thing doesn't mean you're useless to the entire clan." She said. "You are a bright, young soul Alderpaw. You have so much potential and you don't even realize it yet. Squirrelflight and Bramblestar are so, so proud of you, and your sister practically adores you." She pointed out. "And so am I. And I know that if Firestar were here to see you, he would be so incredibly proud of you as well."

Alderpaw felt himself shrink beneath the she-cat's gaze, he didn't deserve this, did he? he was a disappointment, wasn't he? The two of them remained silent for a moment longer until Sandstorm spoke up again. "You mean a lot to us, Alderpaw. You were never a burden and you never will be. Why don't we head back to camp? We can treat that wound of yours and get you something to eat, and surely you're cold?" She prompted, watching him carefully for a moment. "They...Do they want me back? even after that?" He whispered, and oddly enough, a warm smile appeared on the light ginger she-cat's face. "Of course they do. They love you, Alderpaw, even if it feels like they don't."

Something warm stirred in the red tom's chest, his paws kneaded awkwardly into the dirt beneath him and he took in a deep breath. "Okay...Okay, sure." He murmured, accepting her offer to come back home, still not looking up at Sandstorm. "You are a part of ThunderClan, and no clanmate is ever a burden." She spoke suddenly. "Remember that, carry it with you wherever you go." She finished, gently taking her paw and lifting his chin to look at her. 

"Sandstorm.." He suddenly started. "Sandstorm I'm not sure if that's true.." His voice lowered to a whisper as he looked away again. "And how come?" She prompted, her tone was soft and kind, almost like his mother's. "I'm..I'm not good at anything, really. I can't hunt, I can't fight. Im just. Useless." He said quietly, his eyes being glazed over once more by an unintelligible darkness that had haunted him for so long. "Have you ever considered that maybe you're meant for something more?" She asked him, Alderpaw looked back at her carefully, seemingly considering her words. "I know you have a bright future ahead of you, you need to keep going, keep striving. If you think you don't have a place in this clan? make your place in this clan." Her words seemed more like a motivational speech if nothing else, but it seemed so genuine, he continued to listen intently 

"You are meant for more Alderpaw." She finished, before putting her paw back on the ground as she turned around and flicked her tail carefully. "Let's get back, I think i hear a storm coming." She said softly, urging him to follow her.

Alderpaw stood there for a moment longer, what had she meant by *something more*? What else could there be? Was this a prophecy of some sort? the thoughts spiraled in his head, but they weren't bad ones. Not the self-degrading ones or the fearful ones, just pure curiosity, the same curiosity he'd had as an innocent kit.

She'd stopped the bad thoughts somehow. Was this on purpose or did she genuinely mean what she said?

"Are you coming?" The elder called, and Alderpaw quickly got to his paws, carefully chasing after the light ginger she-cat. "Of course." He responded, giving her a shy smile, she reciprocated this by giving him a warm and comforting smile, leading him back to camp quietly.

(( I HOPE THIS WAS ALRIGHT ))