A Silly little teenagers rambles !!

Im alive !! (Suprisingly)

So yes I'm alive and I don't think I want to be I've had some stuff going on in schl . (I got caught vaping with my gf and my BSF) and that brought me down a hell of a lot. I discovers the i am sober app and was happy to realise I could track my progress. Over the course of maybe 6 weeks I've lost my streak 4 times. Which is a punch to the gut. Had an argument with some girl that u sed to hang out with. She's an attention seeker and still thinks we are friends even though I haven't spoken to her in like MONTHS. Me and my girlfriend are quite happy but we have had a few arguments abt Self harm. She has a therapist and I'm on a waiting list for my schools well-being. Which I have been on since the start of the year yet have had no one reach out to me to talk about well-being.

There's been a few times where someone has mentioned SH and I get funny looks. I had a boy in my class turn around to me and quite loudly say 'Yea you cut yourself' and then go back to talking to his stupid egotistical friends. A girl from me class found a video I put up on TikTok and showed her friends. They make fun of me now which isn't great either. I still pretty much enjoy life though. School is never going to be 'good' don't get me wrong I value my education it's just the teachers and the students and the setting and literally everything about being actually IN a school that makes me feel uncomfortable. I have a few teachers that have talked to me about some well being stuff but it's never too serious.

I am kinda on the brink of just screaming in the middle of class and lashing out at basically everyone and just giving up on life and dying which maybe isn't great but I personally think I handle things quite well I blast music in my ears keep my head down when I'm around people I don't like and get on with life.
At home things are a bit off. My mum has a miscarriage to that was...eventful. She's currently on mandatory leave. Which is bad for me bc she's always trying to talk to me and make me do stuff. Don't get me wrong she's aloud to be upset but at this point I've had a long drag of people nagging at me and I don't need more of it. My brothers just as stuck up as always he Cried when I jokingly said TO MY FRIENDS that I was going to take away his phone. He told on me to my mhm so that's great. My bio dad is trying to teach me the bass and maybe electric guitar which I'm pretty excited abt! He also buys me monster so that's a bonus.

That's really all I have for now I'm just going to go talk to my gf bc I miss and and I love her so goddamn much it's unreal

Bye bye 👋 👋‼️