I Don't Fit In

16 1 0
                                    

Synopsis: Towa always insisted he was a boy despite everyone telling him he was supposed to be a girl

---------

For as long as Towa could remember, he had always known he was a boy. It didn't matter what everyone else said. He wasn't a girl. He was a boy. Even at such a young age, he knew.

No one had ever really listened to him. A lot of the other members of the tribe laughed at him or thought it was some game he was playing. His parents even just smiled and nodded, but still called him a girl.

Towa still remembered the first time his statement was actually taken seriously. To anyone else it probably seemed like just a basic conversation but to him it meant a lot. To have finally been heard.

"Nii-san... I'm a boy like you, right?"

While Towa had grown used to everyone playing along like this was a fantasy, there was something about how Bamba reacted that made him feel safer talking about this stuff with him.

"Humor your sister in her little delusion. She'll realize soon enough she's too old to be playing pretend like this." The words he had heard his mother once say to Bamba rang in his mind as he waited for an answer.

"Of course you are." Bamba replied, giving the young Towa a soft smile. "You're my little brother."

Hearing those words made Towa smile brightly. There was a voice deep inside trying to tell him that was said just to appease him, but Towa refused to listen to it. He trusted his older brother to not lie to him like that. Bamba had always been the one he looked up to the most.

...

The most defining moment came after his parents had died. It was a sad time, but Towa felt relief at the same time. He didn't have them to keep forcing him to be something he was not.

"Nii-san? Why can't I look more like a boy? Why do mom and dad get mad when I ask?"

"They don't understand. Once you're older, you don't have to listen to them anymore."

This definitely wasn't quite how either brother had expected the freedom to happen, but it was here now. Once some time had passed and the mourning was over, Towa began starting to change his appearance.

It began by asking Bamba if he could get his hair cut short. Bamba had, of course, agreed. He did it himself, seeming to not trust anyone else to try it.

Once it was done, Towa felt so much better. His parents had always forced him to have long hair even though there were girls in the tribe with short hair too.

"Towa, I understand you want to start acting like yourself, but please be careful. You know most of the tribe also doesn't understand anything going on with you. I can't always be there to protect you from them." Bamba told him.

"I know..." Towa mumbled.

He hated that fact. Hated that no one else but his brother seemed to understand. Why didn't they get that he was a boy? Why did everyone insist he was a girl when he kept telling them he wasn't? It was frustrating beyond belief.

"I promise someday it'll get better." Bamba said.

Towa really hoped so. He just wanted to be himself. That was all he had ever wanted. Was that really too much to ask for?

...

Towa grew used to being hated. He didn't know if hated was the right word, but that's what he called it. He knew most of the people calling him a girl still just didn't get him. They weren't inherently trying to be malicious.

An Unbreakable BondWhere stories live. Discover now