Astarion X Tav One Shots

We'll Never Have Sex

Summary: Astarion begins to feel more comfortable exploring more innocent forms of physical touch with tav. That's it. That's the fic.

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse, trauma, sexual abuse, biting, blood, mentions of blood drinking, vampirism, fluff with a tiny bit of angst, no smut

Rating: Mature, but not in a spicy way.

(No proofreading, bear with me)

"Come and kiss me,
Pretty baby,
Like we'll never have sex"

Astarion laid there, in your tent with your cheek gently pressed against his chest, as if you were trying to feel his unbeating heart. The two of you had gotten into the habit of having sleep overs on the nights when he would slip into your tent where you were usually eagerly awaiting his arrival, already laying in your bed roll, before offering him your neck to drink from, which he become an almost nightly experience.

Since astarion s confession and his revelation about his past, the two of you had been taking things slow. With you never initiating contact without asking or unless he asked first.

Hearing what he had had to do while under the control of Cazador had left a small crack in your heart for him. Your sweet, loving vampire having to use his body for sexual favors to lure people to their deaths for his master. Never being able to say no. Always feeling as if he was a toy to be used by everyone who Cazador saw fit for him to romance and bed before sending the off to their demise.

And finding out that he still felt that way now, that he was unable to enjoy sex with you because of his past, that he had made himself uncomfortable in order to please you had completely shattered you. You remember putting on a brave and supportive demeanor while he had confessed this to you. Telling him that he never had to feel as if he needed to do anything for you. You wanted him for him not for his body or for sex, and that you would be more than happy to spend the rest of your mortal life at his side, even if it meant the two of you never had sex again.

When you returned to your tent that night however, you cried. Sobs racking through your body as you felt such same about what you had put him through before your relationship had even started. How could you have not noticed? We're you too wrapped up in your own pleasure that you had missed the fact that your dearest lover felt the need to use his body against his own wants as a way to make you want him.

Thinking about it made you want to cry.

And apparently it showed because soon after the thought passed through your mind, Astarions knuckles were gently brushing against your cheekbone.

"What's wrong my love? I can tell something is troubling you." It was as if this man could read your mind.

You sighed heavily into his bare chest before speaking. "I was just thinking about what you had said about the times you had taken me to bed. Before I knew..." your voice cracked, filling with emotion as you took a few grounding breaths, so as to not cry. This wasn't about you. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I never noticed that anything was wrong or that you didn't want to."

You can't help the tears that make their way down your face as you lift your gaze the meet his wide, round eyes, full of concern for your wellbeing. "Darling, no." He sighs as he reaches his thumb across your face to wipe the tears that had spilled from your precious eyes. "I loved every moment I spent in bed with you." He chuckles and brings his lips to gently peck your forehead. "Look at you, how could I not?"

He pulled you closer to him and began drawing circles in the small of your back underneath your shirt. "But you said-"

"My love, trust me, I thoroughly enjoy taking part in the more... carnal pleasures with you, what I meant was that I have a hard time separating the two afterwards." He breathe out a heavy sigh as he turned completely onto his back. "I've spent 200 years letting people use my body for whatever they wanted it to be. I don't want it to be like that with you."