Lost in Thought

Chapter 3

Work went pretty normal, I detailed a few cars and worked on some of the easier fixes and regular maintenance. Oil changes and spark plug changes were the majority of what I have to do, sometimes I have to chance to do some brake pads. Pat returned the empty container that had the food my mom had made for me. I was heading out to the parking lot to see if Ella would actually come to wait for me when Pat called out to me.

"Hey kid! Wait up for just a minute!" He called after me, running up to catch me before I left.

"What's up Pat, I haven't seen you run the whole time I have worked here," I said with a chuckle.

He paused for a moment to try and catch his breath, but in between gasps of air he managed to choke out, "And there is a reason for that kid! Smoking combined with working around welders and cars your whole life has an effect on your lungs."

I chuckled and said to him, "Don't worry, you take your time, old man."

He took a few moments to finally catch his breath when he looked up at me with a sad look in his eyes, "look kid there is no easy way to say this, I gotta let you go."

My smile dropped from my face almost instantly, "Why, am I doing something wrong?"

"No kid, you're great, we love the work you do, business just isn't what it used to be and seeing as you're the only one who works here who doesn't gotta take care of a family you're the best choice," his voice somber in his attempt to reassure me.

"Is there anything I can do to help? Or something I can do to change your mind?" I was worried I didn't know what I was going to do.

"No kid, there isn't. Look I will give you this," he said as he handed me an envelope full of cash, "it's the pay for this week, you won't even have to work. It will give you some time to try and find another job," he paused for a moment, almost like he was thinking on his next words very carefully, "I know your dad is a good for nothing drunk. But he still works, you don't have to take on his role, live your high school life, have fun, break some hearts, or get so drunk you can't stand. Just don't live your last year of high school working till you drop, you're gonna do great in life David, I'm sorry."

I just looked at him, all I could say was, "it is what it is Pat, thank you for this," I motioned to the envelope in my hand, "hope business gets better."

As soon as I finished my sentence I walked my way out the door. Man this fucking sucks, but what can you do, best not to get upset over something you can't change. I continued to try to convince myself as I felt a ball gather in my throat and my heart began to beat faster and harder, almost like it was beating right out of my chest. I clenched my fists and tried to control my breathing, my face began to feel warm and I began to shake.

"FUCK!" I screamed as I kicked and punched at the dumpster next to me, making a lot of loud banging noises.

I couldn't keep pretending that this wasn't pissing me off, it felt like I was about to explode. Even now I was trying to control my breathing and calm myself down, I began to pace back and forth as I felt my eyes begin to hurt and see tears welling up in my eyes, until one finally began to roll down my cheek and I heard a familiar sweet voice call out to me and footsteps racing toward me.

"David!" Ella yelled while running up to me and before I knew what was happening she wrapped her arms around me and whispered into my ear, "it's ok."

Any remaining composure I had left my body in that moment as I dropped to my knees and she followed me down. The tears that tried so hard to cling onto my eyes a moment ago were now flowing uncontrollably down my face as I tried to keep whatever dignity remained by holding in my voice letting only the occasional whimper leave my lips when I gasped for breath. I wasn't thinking of anything, I was just feeling so much, so many feelings began to crawl through my mind and attach themselves to the very front so that they couldn't leave. It was still raining pretty hard as I knelt on the ground feeling the warm embrace of Ella as she held on tighter and tighter the more I cried.