Dark Love

Chapter 4: Hate me all you want

Henry felt the warmth flow from Tom's hand and into like a warm fire that soon turned into an uncomfortable blazing inferno. It felt right this heat, but to him, it felt all-encompassing, like it was trying to burn him up from the inside. It was an excellent representation of what was going on in his mind. The warmth was so lovely from the usual cold in his heart for so long. The sudden warmth was too much compared to what he was used to. There had to be a catch to this. There was no way someone like Tom would willingly be his mate, even if the magic around them proclaimed that as truth. He couldn't fathom anyone, let alone Tom, loving him, a blind Neko. A person that would only hinder Tom's reputation and hurt it more. Tom needed to keep the reputation that he had to continue his goals. Henry felt he'd only be a hindrance to that because he was blind, and only so much magic could do to aid him. He could be a dead weight to everyone around him.

This all did not even touch on the overwhelming sense of fear that was wrapping around him like a familiar cloak. A cloak that blocked all of his senses from being able to keep track of the world that was around him. His thoughts were consumed by the belief that his blindness was a hindrance to every aspect of his life. His love life has been nonexistent ever since the day he became blind. What respectable person would love someone disabled like him? This fear continued to shroud him from those around him, leaving him unaware of the voices calling out to him, trying to get him to calm down from the panic attack that he distantly knew was happening right now though he wanted- no needed to get away from the searing, burning pain that was encompassing his heart.

Flashes of his past started to take over the darkness in his mind, causing further panic. He didn't want to see any of this again. It was all supposed to stay in a tightly locked box in the furthest recesses of his mind where it would never be again. But it seemed like something knocked that lock loose, and it came flooding back. He soon found that he had ripped his hand from the cause of the burning and stumbled to his feet. He hissed, baring his fangs at the presence that he felt try and touch him, not fully comprehending if it was friend or foe. His ears were flat against his head, and his tail was fluffed up as it lashed back and forth. He just needed to leave, so when it seemed like all the beings around him backed away, his ears still pinned back but moving to try and catch the sound that wouldn't even make it to his brain. He quickly, as quickly as a hyperventilating and blind neko could, away from them towards where he believed the exit was from when he had first entered the room. He just needed to get out and away from everything. He needed space to build himself back up again. He needed to lock these memories back away, and he was never required to have contact with Tom again. He can claim what they both felt was just an illusion or that magic was faulty since he was using his constantly. Right, he can do that. There's no reason for ever having to come in direct contact with him ever again. Yea. Then he can convince them that that was all just a fluke. Henry let out a startled, hysterical laugh; this was so bizarre. The only thing that made sense was the idea that Tom wouldn't even want him as that due to him being well. He had to face it; no one would ever love him like that. It had been beaten into him since he was a child. So why think that would change now? His tail was no longer as fluffed up as it was before. Instead, it was winding around him as he absently started to pet it in a self-soothing motion as his mind wandered.

A plan started forming in his delirious mind. He'd first have to make sure that he never came into contact with Tom ever again. Second, he'd have to convince Tom and everyone else who had seen what happened that it was just a fluke. That they weren't anything to each other. Then, finally, try and figure out a way to either suppress or eliminate it. He was aiming more for the second option. As the plan started to form and give something concrete to focus on, he began to be able to focus on what was around him. His ears moved from their flattened position as the muffled sound of delicate wind contrasted his harsh breathing, which was slowly beginning to go back to normal. He also noticed that he could feel the grass under his feet. Which confused him somewhat as last he remembered that, he was inside with everyone. Though now that he thought about it. He does vaguely remembers running out to get away from everyone. So he must've run out to the garden that was nearby. The garden was pleasant in that nothing was overwhelming there. Everything had a soft sound, smell, and feel that wasn't so grating on his senses compared to most things he had to tolerate during the day. After another moment, his mind was less foggy, and he could breathe easily. The plan that he had made was still firmly there. Vaguely, he registered that he had sat down, and there was a stuttering, quiet purr coming from his core that was doing its best to try and calm him down further. That, petting his tail, and the feeling of the garden around him all combined allowed him to relax finally. The first thing he did was lock the unpleasant memories away. Then he started to expand his senses, starting with his smell. The scent of the flowers, trees, and herbs was very soothing as they were familiar. He stretched his sense further to recalibrate it to his average passive level... He paused for a moment, trying to place the odd scent that was coming closer and closer to the house while carrying some plants. It smelled similar to how Remus smelled, but it wasn't Remus as he was still in the house current. Plus, this new scent was more like a subtle floral with a hint of muskiness that was over top.. oh this must be another werewolf then. They had that beast smell that Remus had, but a completely different individual smell.

Henry tilted his head as he felt the figure get closer, but he felt no malice from them. "Um, Henry, why are you out here?" an uneasy and gruff voice spoke and seemed unsure what to do. Henry felt the other man sit across from him. "I don't know." Henry shrugged and picked at the grass. This man, even if he was unfamiliar, just felt safe. He had a pleasant, earthly, sweet smell like rolling in a field of flowers. The man shifted. "It is cold out here. Are you sure we shouldn't go back in?" the man asked, moving a bit. Henry looked up at him and tilted his head. "Who are you? You smell a little like Remus," he asked, wanting to know. "I'm Fenrir," the man answered, and Henry could tell from his voice that he stiffened. "Hm, that makes sense," Henry shrugged. At this point, he was numb to all the change that had happened in one day, and he was starting to get dizzy. "I don't feel good, Fenrir," he slurred, and he could feel the comfort of the grass on his face. He wondered how that had happened, but his thoughts soon went blank.