3 1/2 Harpers

Pilot: Part 2

Elizabeth's POV:

Mom: "Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to hear about your own son's divorce on the street?"

Alan: "What divorce? What street?"

Charlie: "How did you get in our house?"

Mom: "You stay out of this. I'm here to help your brother through a very difficult time.-*to Alan*-How could you do this to me?"

Alan: "Do what?"

Mom: "Now, when I want to see my grandson, I am going to have to make an appointment with Judith, who, let's face it, was never very warm to me. And what if there's another man there shacking up with her? Have you even stopped to consider that?"

Me: "I think he's considering it now, Mom."

Then, Jake walks into the room with Mom's iced tea.

Jake: "Here's your iced tea, Grandma."

Mom: "Thank you, my little angel. Oh, darling, I asked for a lemon wedge."

Jake goes back into the kitchen to get the lemon wedge.

Mom: *to Alan* "Alright, here's what you're going to do. You and Jake will come live with me. After all, I'm just rattling around in that big house all by myself."

Alan: "Mom, that's very considerate, but as soon as Judith and I work things out, I'm gonna be back at my own house."

Mom: "Oh, sweetheart, grow up. Think about what I said. You're my son, and I'll always have room for you in my house and in my heart."

Alan: "I love you, too, Mom."

Me: "Love you, Mom."

Charlie: "I love you, too, Mom."

Mom: "Too little. Too late."

With that, Mom leaves the house.

{Time skip}

Tonight, I come home from a very successful 'Girls Night Out' to find Charlie hosting a poker game in the kitchen, with Jake supposedly helping Charlie win, and vice-versa. Not long after, Alan walks in from the living room, returning from his dinner with Judith.

Alan: "What the hell is going on here?"

Jake: "You said 'hell'."

Charlie: "Throw a dollar in the pot."

Alan: "What?"

Man: "Hey, we all had to."

Alan: "Charlie, may I speak with you privately, please? You too, Beth."

Oh, boy. People only use that nickname to tease, annoy, or warn me that I'm in trouble, the latter only ever happening when we were kids until now. The three of us walk away as Jake returns to the cards in his hand.

Jake: "Whose deal is it?"

Alan: "Jake, go to bed!"

Jake does so as Alan leads Charlie and me out to the sundeck.

Alan: "What is wrong with you? Are you insane? Do you have any sense of right and wrong?"

Charlie: "Probably not. How was dinner?"

Alan: "How could you put Jake in a poker game with grown men?-*to me*-And how could you leave him alone with them?"

Me: "We obviously can't be trusted. So, how was dinner?"