Blair marches into my room dutifully. I'm still crying on my bed and my nose has started running. She sits with me and hugs me as she reaches over to get me a tissue. I blow my nose loudly as she caresses my arm.
"What'd he do?" She asks cautiously. I didn't think she knew that Tyler took me home but it's not like I was paying attention.
"I should've just left it." I babble as my barriers break and all the hurt I've been balling up over the year's spills all over Blair. "I'm such a bad person." I sob into her arms as she waits for me to finish.
"I don't understand." I look deep into her restless eyes.
"I caught him with some girl at the party," She stifles a small gasp, "I thought he was a better person than that, I thought he wouldn't do something like that. I know I shouldn't care but I do. And it really hurts." Blair shakes her head.
"I still don't understand." I prepare for an announcement.
I whisper so quiet she can barely hear me "I went out with Zac, and then Tyler called me. He asked if we could talk and I said yes then hung up. But I can't get it out of my mind; I don't want to go to school today."
"When have these feelings popped up? And how do I not know about them?" Blair gets defensive.
"I don't know okay? I guess that phone call reminded me of how happy I was." I look at her again and whisper, "Zac said he loves me. After all these years of being broken hearted; Nothing." I go quieter, "Do you have any idea what that's like?" Blair shakes he head lightly,
"No I don't, and I don't think I want to." She says and I sniffle.
"You don't." I tell her.
***
I hear a light knock at the door and I make an effort to get there. Blair is holding a box of assorted Krispy Kremes. I give her a small smile and move out of the way so she can walk in.
"I thought you were just going to get some stuff." I sniffle, Blair smiles warmly.
"I did." she walks into my kitchen and grabs a plate, "Pick one." I point at the glazed donut and she loads it on my plate as she eats a cookies and cream donut. I pick at my own, my appetite sabotaged.
"I hate this." I mumble as I take my first bite,
"Hate what? The donut? Well you picked it." I smile at her obvious sarcasm.
"No, I hate feeling like this. I hate not doing anything; I hate not being able to do anything about it." I groan at the simplicity of the situation and yet it's so complicated.
"If Tyler's bothering you so much why don't you just call Zac?" She laughs lightly,
"Because that would be admitting that I still need him after what he did to me." It was the first time I'd actually said the words, I needed Zac and I had to stop denying it. Even though that isn't the only thing I am denying.
"To be honest I think you should call him, it seems like..." She trails off and breathes deeply.
"Like what?" My curiosity peaks.
"Like it's time." I look at the floor.
I start fiddling and can't meet Blair's eyes. "That's impossible." I mumble, I want to cry again. "He doesn't want me." Blair groans and shows me my phone; his text is on the screen.
I love you
It burns through my eyes and my heart beats ten times faster, I feel an urge to Zac but even though the urge is there, there is also the fact that I feel repelled by him.
YOU ARE READING
Lifted (Lock And Key #1)
Romance"Why do you do this to me?" I whispered staring at the floor. "Why do you keep coming back?" I was desperate. "Because I need you Tessa." I inhaled sharply, "No you don't" I choked, my final statement. ===============================================...