I'm seriously questioning how my mental health was in 9th grade. Yes I am shoving that down your throat completely. One thing I knew I was in 9th grade is that I was a heavy smut reader. I have sworn myself off of it.
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Ok first of all, how does anyone get horny? Like I've seen stuff and tried to imagine scenarios but no horny. How do people get crushes too? Like do you just bump into them and then S T A R E into their eyeballs and think they're cute?????? Can someone tell me how to get a crush? I hate being aromantic like I really hope it's a phase like idk I'm using aromantic to describe my attraction now. Ok onto this satire story now.
Tw for abuse ig because of Kazuichi's implied backstory???
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Gundham decides to let Kazuichi stay in his cottage anyways EVEN THO HE DISTURBS THE DEVAS REST. Plot purposes istg. Gundham just covered his hamsters in something blanket to cancel out some noise. Useless plot for the sake of E N T E R T A I N M E N T.
Once they got settled in. Kazuchi asked Gundham if he was dating Sonia. Gundham's response was no because Sonia doesn't like M E N. Kazuichi all the sudden felt happy because at least his rival thingamajig didn't get any b****es either.
"Shut up you MORTAL FIEND" Gundham said in his usual magical behavior supremacy. "At least Sonia didn't reject me in public UNLIKE YOU YOU HIGHLIGHTER PISS SHARK."
Kazuichi somewhat got reminded about the bullying he faced and his father because of the phrase "highlighter piss shark." Kazuichi started crying as much as Hiyoko did when Teruteru called her ploopy. Except maybe this reason wasn't as childish as Hiyoko, but I guess it was reasonable, especially since Hiyoko started the insults. But this time I guess idk how do y'all handle people crying because I just make them cry louder.
"LGFGFGFKJKKKKHKLL" Kazuichi started to mutter out but Gundham doesn't have a C L U E of what's going on. Kazuichi started sobbing and even the GREAT GUNDHAM had to take sympathy on what's going on. WIth the urge to kick Kazuichi out of his cottage because of his devas he holds D E A R to him. But he decided to just listen and pretend to be a therapist. So Gundham just said, "just say anything to me now over Sonia not being your baba grill."
Of course Kazuichi took the opportunity to say something because no one L I K E S H I M.
"WAAHHHHHHHH NOBODY LIKES ME *SNIFF SNIFF* AND MY DAD HITS ME FOR NOT GOING ON A FIELD TRIP (lol once I got in trouble for not joining my elementary school talent show, it's okay Kaz, it's ok.) AND MY FRIEND BETRAYED ME AFTER LETTING HIM CHEAT AND WAAAHHHHHHHH." Gundham not doing what to do, having an urge to slap him to make him shut up but that would only make him cry louder. BUT INSTEAD JUST LISTENED TF. "Kazuichi being some mind reader thingamajig knows Gundham wants to B E A T him up so that made him cry louder. Gundham soon had no choice but to C O M F O R T him. (tf I'm cringing so hard at this). So idk random comforting scene ig because I'm the edgy gacha demon wolf who doesn't know how to deal with feelings. Kazuichi vented about everything and A B U S E from his father and Gundham just comforted him tf insert a hug or smth, the end.
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Smexy Soudam Story (ft. Cringe and Stereotypes)
FanfictionDescription: Idk this is how I think a Soudam story would go, this is once again, satire. I can't write properly anymore, this is going to make me fail Honors English, but my time is running short so I want to at least have some fun in my life. I me...
