Feral Bonds

Chapter 16

"Sorry," Natania muttered quietly as they walked down the hall. She could practically feel Lily roll her eyes at her apology.

"Stop saying that," Lily scolded, guiding her towards her room. Lily nudged her until she sat on the bed, then wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

Natania wiped her eyes again and sighed. "I didn't come here to cry on your shoulders."

"So what?" Lily said, bopping her on the head with the palm of her hand. "You think vampires don't know what it is to have emotions?" Lily leaned down until their foreheads touched. "Guess what? We do."

Lily sat down beside her and Natania raised an arm and tucked her under the blanket too. The cold of her hands was kind of nice on her flushed skin and Natania leaned into her.

"I cried like a baby back in the beginning, when I was first turned, and that was years after anything bad had happened," Lily said quietly. "He doesn't really know how to comfort people, but he worries, so he would always hover around, offering things he thought would help." Lily snorted.

"One time, he brought in a cat, he was holding it by the armpits and it was so afraid of him, cats don't like us, it was just frozen. And he just," she made a motion with her hand like she was dropping something, "that cat bolted the second he put it down and he was so upset on my behalf. I just told him I don't like cats anyway, which was a lie, but I was concerned he was going to go pick up every stray on the street and torment it."

Natania huffed a laugh at the thought of Vincent chasing random cats on the street in the hopes of cheering up Lily. The image was so at odds with the reputation he carried of being a monster.

"We were waiting to see how long it would take you to let yourself feel something other than rage," Lily said, her voice still soft. Natania frowned at her and Lily bonked her forehead. "You need to let yourself grieve."

"I spent years grieving," Natania argued.

"No, you spent years dissociating and blaming yourself."

"It was my fault."

"It's your father's fault, actually," Lily said. Natania rolled her eyes and grumbled under her breath. Lily tightened her grip. "It's the truth. Do you remember the wording of the bargain?"

"No." She'd only ever gotten bits and pieces of it from listening to the others. "Rolf told me it was something about breaking me." She furrowed her eyebrows. "And something about the pack not wanting to follow me."

"Any of them?"

"No wolf," she said.

Lily nudged her chin. "And would your mate have abandoned you for being broken?"

"No." Leah hadn't left, no matter her state, no matter the threat, but Natania had no idea where she was going with that.

"Then the wording of that bargain is why she died," Lily said, "because the only way he had to free himself was to ensure none of them were yours anymore."

Natania froze. She had always assumed that Rigaldo had killed Leah out of jealousy. Not that it couldn't also be that, but blood bargains were specific, and there had been no chance of Leah choosing either of the other alphas over her, even if she had been broken to bits. Leah had despised both of them.

"Well, fuck me sideways with a toaster," Natania muttered. Nothing she could have done after that point would have saved Leah, not with that bargain. It was still her fault, but at least she hadn't died because Natania had refused him.

Lily made a face. "That sounds unpleasant."

Natania laughed and put a hand over her face. "Sorry, it's just an expression."