Love You Goodbye II H.S

27

*March 2020*

(before Covid-19)

-Harry Styles-

"Why did you connect with California, I mean you could have gone to an airport and handpicked anywhere in the world and started to some degree again but you chose to come here?" 

"For me honestly I think like so many of my close friends are here, people from London who've moved here for work and stuff like that it's like I'd say since I left home I've never really had the place that feels like oh that's my home. I'd say my house in London is the most homely that I feel anywhere just because I've been there the longest,"   

"With the writing of your second album Fine Line, how big of a change was that from your self-titled debut album?" Zane questioned.

"I guess a big part of going into this album was I spent a lot of time kind of thinking about the whole process of you make an album, then you put it out, then you release it and then you tour it and all of the bits that I didn't enjoy as much, I kind of went into the second one feeling like, I want to work out how to make all of this really fun,"

"So that's why you drank margaritas and did mushrooms," Zane joked.

"Okay, I had this moment where I was like, I'd rather not do it than do it and it not be fun. Making this album was all about freedom, I had a big moment of I guess through the whole of making this record, I was trying to redefine what success meant to me. For so long, especially in the band, it was like every album got bigger and every tour got bigger and it was like always growing  and I think when I went to make the first record, it was kind of freeing because I felt like 'We'll I don't have to do this anymore'," 

"You're still like if the last band thing was this, then your first solo thing isn't as big.." 

"It was lined up to judge, everyone is lined up to judge like you come out with your first album and it doesn't smash it then it's like 'Oh well I guess out of the band it's a no-go' right," Zane emphasised. "So for me when that first album came out I felt all you wrote already were kind of redefining success in your own terms because you went and connected with your audience, I thought to me at least. It's like in a very real way, you went back to trying to really connect with people, you can't connect in a baseball stadium," Zane admitted.

"That was the first thing that I'd always said I wanted to do when we kind of started doing the music, it was like, I kind of said to my manager like the first tour that I do, I want it to be really small and then I guess with this one it's like I just wanted to have fun,"

"The album starts with 'Golden' which is like you said before, the vulnerability is the way to great friendship and I feel like that song establishes that, I mean the lyrics say, 'I know that you're scared but man I'm going to tell you the truth' I felt like that's what that song is about and it sets the stall out for the album, it's a very personal album," Zane stated.

"Golden, we wrote on day two of being in Shangri la, that was kind of like and immediately as soon as we'd done it, it was like 'oh this is track one' because I always end up with track one and the last track and then your like 'okay let's see," 

"So you knew Fine Line would be the last track," 

"Yeah as soon as we recorded it," I replied. "Did you know it was going to be the title as well?"

"No,"

"It's such a powerful piece of music, we can skip to the end if you want. That is one of my favourite songs of the year, I mean that's just a stunner man. How did you write such a masterpiece like that," 

"I didn't write it originally, my late girlfriend Madelyn Cline wrote it and put it on a flash drive that I found when I was in the early stages of writing, She wrote it for me to put on an album and after I recorded it I just fell in love with it and thought that It would be good to put on the album as like a tribute to her,"

"I was going to bring this up later but do you know what the date is," Zane questioned. "Uhm... March 17th 2020,"

"Do you know what day that resembles," 

"I can't think off the top of my head, no,"

"This was the same day, 5 years ago that Maddie did her interview with me, I understand if you don't want to talk about it but how was that to experience her death,"

"It was one of the worst pains in my life, Maddie was one of the few people who I wish I could bring back, she was an inspiration to me, the band and even the world. It was so sudden too, I didn't even know the last time I talked to her would be the last ever. I'm not going to say how she died out of respect for her family but one thing that I vividly remember saying at her funeral is that grief didn't make us lonely, it made us human,"

"And I guess when I was younger and attended funerals, I didn't really understand what grief was and then I didn't go to one for years until her one in 2015, I understood what grief was and it hit me like a f-ing train. I didn't go out of my house for two months after that, after I'd finally gotten rid of my grief my stepdad Robin died,"

"Before we go on to talking about your stepdad I just wanted to ask you one thing, If Maddie was still alive, would Zayn and the band still be together," Zane questioned.

"No, Zayn left for his own reasons and then with the rest of us, it was just a matter of time. I was obviously dealing with all of the Maddie stuff and Niall, Liam and Louis were dealing with their problems and separating was the best decision in my eyes," 

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The Adrienne rush before performing was something that I had missed, nervousness was not a feeling I had missed. The Zane Lowe interview was incredible and now I need to make this night incredible for the people who came, the fans will love my outfit, the same outfit that I wore for the cover of Fine Line.

I entered the stage in complete darkness and took the same pose that I did on the album, the lights went on and the screams started, I held the pose for a second before the intro to Golden played.

Time seemed to fly by and now it was time for the last song on the album,  "I know that this last song means a lot to many people as much as it does to me, I'm thinking of one particular girl who wrote this for me who I want more than the world to be here but she can't so I want you to do is sing as loud as you can so she can hear us up in heaven,"

I played the guitar, the same one Maddie wrote this song with. The fans lit the Kia Forum up with their lights, some were crying, some were hugging others and some were doing both. This was my first time playing this masterpiece so I decided to belt it and make it the best night for these amazing people supporting me but most importantly, for Maddie.

The night was over and once back in my dressing room, this overwhelming feeling of emotion overcame my body. I was sad that the one person I wished could see what I was doing now wasn't here, I was grateful that I could share her work with the world, she was watching me from above and I knew that she would be proud of the person I've become.

"I love you, Angel," I whispered.

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A/N:

I can't believe that I've finished this book, I'm on the verge of tears right now. I am so grateful for everyone who has/will support my books. I just realised that there are 28 chapters for Louis.

I'll put something in the comments down below so you can have an option for my next book.

until next time, 

-M