Black Wing (Book #1)

Chapter 1

December 31st

They say that everyone has a reason to live, and I believe I don't.

And if I did have a reason to live, it wouldn't be to live without a family.

Being alone is never a purpose.

It's my own personal hell.

My mother was a Christian. She had grown up in a God-fearing household in the heart of Brazil before moving to New Orleans at the young age of 23, where she met my father.

My father proposed to her at 27 and they got married in a local church. My father didn't believe but if it was to make my mother happy, he didn't mind getting married in a church. 

I would be lying if I said I didn't believe too. I believe in God, I believe in heaven and I believe in hell.

Especially hell.

But being alone is enough to doubt my own faith.

My big, charcoal combat boots shuffled through the snowy path in front of me. New York City on New Year's Eve was a lot less busy than usual days. Everyone wanted to be at home, with their families, celebrating the new year.

I scoffed.

Ironic really, I always used to complain about how small my family was.

Sam was always at work. He told our mother that he had a night shift at the local supermarket, but she never was able to see through his lies. I just went with it because I had no idea what else he could've been up to.

My parents were both teachers, my mother taught dance and my father taught French and Spanish. They didn't earn much, so they were always working longer hours. I always complained that I didn't see them enough.

I sighed, a white cloud of breath escaping from my mouth, as I pulled down the sleeves of my black hoodie.

The wind was icy, carrying empty brown bottles of Beer across the cluttered sidewalk. Lingering in the air was marijuana from the night before, telling me of the adventures of those who had wandered before me.

I guess perspectives change, but not without cause.

Starving...I'm starving...

I reached inside my broken backpack and dug out a half-eaten doughnut which I'd bought earlier. I cursed as the crumbs went all over my fingerless gloves. I tutted and shook them off gently before stuffing the doughnut remains into my mouth.

Great...still hungry...

I continued to move my frozen body aimlessly through the city, occasionally smiling at the lonely people of New York City. Some smiled back, some avoided my eyes, but I knew the smile brought them comfort regardless.

While I walked, I brought out my half dead iPod and put in my earphones. They only worked through one earphone, but what matters is that it still played music. I would have experienced a new level of loneliness if my iPod didn't work. Although, something about silence can be soothing and therapeutic. Music began to play, and I immediately felt at ease.

Smiling, I listened to my favourite song, thinking of the many memories it brought me.

And suddenly, before I could stop it, those memories turned from pleasant to the ones I had tried so hard to forget about and to ignore.

The time my family died helplessly in a car crash.

The time when I became homeless.

The time I was left with nothing or anyone but myself.

Me, myself and I.

I glanced up towards the night sky and shivered. There were no stars tonight and a dull, smoky mist danced around the moon. The sky looked so cold and empty and I sighed to myself.

Just like my soul...

I didn't have the strength to laugh at my little joke.

Fed up, I stopped walking completely and sat down by the sidewalk, my head sitting lazily in my hands. I didn't know where I was but all I knew it that I was tired, cold and hungry.

I closed my eyes and began to imagine. I let my happiest thoughts run wild in my head because it was the only thing I could do nowadays without me losing the few cents I had scraped together.

I imagined a life where I was a dancer.

I imagined a life where I had a home.

I imagined a life where I had a family.

I opened my eyes and was greeted once again by the reality of my situation.

Dorothy got lucky.

She got a pair of ruby red heels and clicked them together three times, transporting her away from her own personal hell.

But life is not a fairy-tale.

"Hey you..." My hazel eyes darted towards the dark alley I was sitting a few metres away from, where the deep voice spoke, and I paused my iPod.

Immediately I was put on edge. I had been jumped twice since I became homeless.

I really didn't need this. In fact, this was the last thing I needed.

To be robbed of the few possessions I had but all hope had left me a long time ago. At this point, I was sure God was trying to teach me a lesson.

Be thankful.

Don't be selfish.

Don't hate the world I put you in.

I closed my eyes and gulped.

Slowly, a tall figure began to emerge from the darkness and fear took over my body.

Even when you're waiting for death, you're still not willing to die.

The boy stopped in front of me and I gulped, yet I didn't have it in me to run away. I gave up fighting a while ago.

The cigarette in his hands was raised to his lips and he gave me a once over allowing the fear of getting robbed to be quickly replaced with the thought that he may have other intentions. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath.

God, don't let that be the case.

It was silent, not even the comfort of my own breathing could calm me down. It usually does.

And then he spoke.

"I like your t-shirt."

*********

hey guys :), if you guys were unaware, this story is going through some editing but hopefully updates will be a lot more frequent that previously. I'm aiming to make my chapters longer and there will also be changes to characters and backstories. I hope you guys will bear with me and enjoy the new chapters. 

farewell x