Paint It Black [ ChanBaek ]

10

He slumps down in front of Baekhyun’s apartment door, waiting for him. He is gone for 2 days when he realizes that he barely knows anything about him, that Baekhyun never spoke about himself. He doesn’t know how to contact him. There is a needy desperation that seeps through him.

He jolts up hearing his name being called.

“Chanyeol” Baekhyun’s face hovers over him

It takes Chanyeol minutes to comprehend that this isn’t his brain’s illusion that Baekhyun is standing in front of him in person.

Baekhyun’s hands are gripping on his shoulder, too tight and it is hurting him a little but he is too scared that they would be gone forever if he lets them go.

“Baekhyun?” His voice drips hesitation and doubt.

“Why are you sitting outside? You are so cold”

“You came back” Chanyeol replies in a desolate tone.

“Of course, I had to sort things out...” Baekhyun looked away for a second and his eyes were back on him, moving around his face.

“Why did you come back?” Chanyeol doesn’t know why but he wonders if he is worth coming back for.

“I would never leave you” The brunette’s voice is shaky, his face ashen like he has gone paler in two days.

Chanyeol stands up from the ground his hands are folded around Baekhyun’s back, pulling him in closer. “Don’t go, don’t leave” he pleads not caring if he sounds clingy.  Chanyeol doesn’t want him to become a forgotten dream, a memory he wants Baekhyun to be real.

He lets his clammy hands touch Baekhyun’s face, Baekhyun encircles his arms around his neck kissing him, it is sweet, and gentle, and it tastes like a promise. Baekhyun’s face is painted with a smile when he pulls away, his gaze fixed on chanyeol's eyes “I love you”

Love 

....

Chanyeol had somehow settled in for the nothingness, he was okay with being left alone because he thought he deserved it. The painful memories were like bruises that would never go away, it hurt every time they were touched.

He wondered if people like him were worth saving?

But Baekhyun came along and his monochrome life became a disoriented chaos of colors. Every time his nightmares would wake him up, there were kind words, a warm hold that lulled him back to sleep. The bottle of sleeping pills was long forgotten somewhere in the cabinet. 

For Chanyeol being in love didn’t feel like the grand romance that was portrayed in the vapid dramas it was the feeling of weakness and vulnerability that he couldn’t show to anyone else.

He held on to someone when he thought everything was lost. 

Baekhyun felt like soft rain after years of drought.

Baekhyun was his something when all he felt was nothing. 

Being in love didn’t fix him like a broken toy, but it gave him hope that maybe someday he could forgive himself and move on.

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