Paint It Black [ ChanBaek ]

4

Chanyeol hears a knock on his door when he is about to chop onions, after eating instant noodles for days he decides it is time to cook, it gives him something to do. Keeping the knife on the counter wiping his hands on an old kitchen duster he walks to open the door.

He isn’t surprised that it’s Baekhyun because who else will come?

Chanyeol steps forward sticking his palm out for the key knowing that the other probably couldn’t open his door as usual, but Baekhyun shakes his head, “No no I know how to unlock the door now” his lips curving into a smile showing his perfect teeth.

“Ohh...then what is it?” Chanyeol looks at him surprised.

“I brought this” he lifts a packet in front of Chanyeol’s face, from the transparent material he can it’s cans of beer.

“I wanted to thank for you helping me...I hope you drink right?” Baekhyun asks cocking his eyebrow and biting his lips.

“Yeah, I do” Chanyeol instantly thinks about the many empty bottles lying under his kitchen counter gathering dust.

“Great, can we drink now?” Baekhyun says with a hopeful expression.

“Sure, come in” Chanyeol mumbles without even thinking. He moves away so Baekhyun can enter.

It's been so long since anyone has even visited the place that he tries to recall the least bit of etiquette that he is supposed to show someone.

“You can sit...I am making dinner...would you like to eat?” He blurts out unintelligibly.

Baekhyun nods his head with a boyish grin on his face and sits on the chair, Chanyeol’s eyes dart towards the couch and he regrets leaving his pillow and blanket bunched up on it.

He always ends up sleeping on the couch these days he feels too lazy to go back to his bed.

But he knows the real reason the thought of sleeping in his bedroom scares him, his loneliness surrounds him all at once, and it’s almost suffocating. The blurring colours and the sound of the TV lulls him into a slumber making him feel a little less alone.

He picks up the bedding with an apologetic smile and throws the pile inside his bedroom quickly, as if afraid that the monster hiding under his bed will come out and pull him back to the dark places.

It doesn’t require much time for him to cook, it’s just kimchi and rice.

“Here” Chanyeol places the bowls on the table, removing the cluttered remnants of cigarette butts, half-eaten chocolate wrappers, and unpaid bills on the floor carelessly.

“You didn’t have to do this though,” Chanyeol says awkwardly pointing at the beer cans resting on the floor finding the sudden need to make a conversation.

Baekhyun pauses a few seconds to chew the food in his mouth before he speaks, he lifts his hand, “No I wanted to thank you really...also I felt like drinking, though you make fine company”

Chanyeol wonders if Baekhyun is just being polite because if he is given a choice he probably wouldn't pick himself to be around, no one will.

The brunette gives him a small smile before he takes another too-big spoonful of rice that he can’t fit in his mouth, and ends up choking on it, Chanyeol offers him water quickly, and on impulse, he pats Baekhyun’s back to calm him down.

“I am so stupid,” Baekhyun says laughing.

Chanyeol doesn't know why but it has got something to do with Baekhyun’s infectious laugh that makes him smile unguarded.

“Do you cook often”? Baekhyun asks as he taps the spoon on the now empty bowl making a clinking sound.

“I don’t actually, guess you’d understand from the taste” Chanyeol chuckles

“No, it’s good, I like it” Baekhyun replies softly looking at him, his eyes sparkling even under the cheap lights of his living room.

They drink mostly in silence, but it’s not awkward Chanyeol finds himself feeling comfortable in the silence.

Slowly the drunkenness engulfs him, his mind drifting in and out, it’s not enough for him to have a hangover but his head feels dizzy, Chanyeol doesn’t know when but he finds Baekhyun sitting beside him on the couch. Though his vision wavered he is sure of one thing that tonight he isn’t lonely.

There is someone beside him, he can feel the warmth radiating off Baekhyun’s body.

Chanyeol watches the deep flames coming out of Baekhyun’s slightly parted pink lips, he realizes how out of place the guy looks in his bright red hoodie, a size too big on him as if a small kid trying to play dress up in adult clothes. His brown locks were messy, face was too bright and too beautiful to fit in Chanyeol’s empty colourless apartment.

Baekhyun leans forward coming too close to him and before Chanyeol can move or maybe he doesn’t want to move away, for once he anticipates the closeness, he feels a light press of soft wet lips on his own then he inhales the smoke filling his mouth deeply, taking in the familiar bitterness and the unfamiliar yet comforting taste of Baekhyun along with it.

“Do you like it?” Baekhyun’s voice slurs a little, thin lips curving into a smile.

“Yeah, I have never done something like this before...” Chanyeol murmurs licking his lips.

“It’s called a shotgun kiss, it’s done with weed but for now” he winks at him, the cigarette between his slim fingers drops ashes on the floor, and he shakes it before putting it between his teeth.

“For now” Chanyeol repeats it to himself in a whisper, so there will be more, there is hopefulness in those words.

Hope

Chanyeol has always told himself that he is fine but he knows how much he craves for a bit of touch, a bit of affection. The hope brings in all the emotions that scare him because they are all in bursts of multicolours that taste too sweet and feel too soft.