PERVERSE - Apply Fic

26

Motel rooms are not ideal for Halloween parties. The space is crammed, and for a second, Nico misses the church basement and the VCR player, and the actual oven even if it was impossibly small. They are cramped, shuffling to the music much like a member of a zombie hoard. Still, it is exactly what they hoped for. Perhaps it is better.

On the television, the end credits for the movie are still paused, because technically Nico could rewatch it again tomorrow morning so long as it's not finished. Kaia seemed to like it, and maybe they will rent another one. Este suggested a horror movie from the 1970s, and now the two are talking, elbows pressed into each other as they lean against one of the beds.

Kaia laughs, a round and ringing sound. At the snack table they have made out of the desk, Clare turns their head quickly. They grab a few gummy worms and press them into their mouth. Sour powder stings their tongue, but Clare supposes they like sour things. At least, more than they did a few weeks ago. Clare craves vinegar.

Beside Clare, Ajay barely looks. His eyes are on Este, who is giggling too, leaning in closer to Kaia. Her brown hair is warm in the cheap yellow lights of the motel. Her cheeks are flushed too, the colour of the rose in her plastic cup. Ajay swallows, turning back and grabbing a cookie.

"Have you tried these?" Ajay asks, looking at Clare.

He flinches, just a bit when Clare looks up at him. Her eyes are pitch black, wide and vacant. He tastes metal on his tongue. But then he leans away and there is the brown colour, albeit subtle. It's the damn lighting. Ajay grabs his cup and brings it to his mouth, chasing the taste away with a cheaper beer isn't any better.

"No," Clare says.

They grab a cookie too, quickly pulling it up to their mouth. The hunger is all-consuming. In over two weeks, Clare hadn't felt any different than usual, but one terrible drop and all they can think about is eating. At least, the distraction is welcome. It's better than staring at Kaia.

Clare hasn't drank in just as long, and the toaster oven cookies are not moist. They are dry, like sand and paper on Clare's tongue. One hand reaches over quickly, covered in sweet powder from the gummy worms, to grab a beer. Before Ajay can say anything, Clare cracks it open with the bottle opener and begins to chug.

"Fuck yeah," Ajay laughs, shaking his head.

Leo spots Clare chugging beer with Ajay too, and he doesn't look away. Audrey is next to him, answering his question about fire and dirt, and Ajay tries to listen his best. Only when the bottle is empty does Clare stop drinking. Ajay slaps their shoulder, and Ajay puts a hand on Audrey's shoulder.

"Excuse me," he whispers.

Audrey crosses her arms over her chest as Leo walks away. Now, she's stuck with Barry. It's a blessing actually, because he's sulking beside her. She digs into her pocket, pulling out her notebook and flipping through it. Some pagers are smeared with dirt. Or blood maybe, or ash, but the things seem to be more interchangeable in her than in anyone else.

Beside her, Barry only has a glass of wine. Lydia is on the opposite side of the crowd, thankfully, and she's hard to see from here. Barry would go to the bathroom and lock himself in to avoid looking if he had to do it. She's drinking liquor, stuff she clearly doesn't like, hard shots pounding one after the other, and she's clinging to Eva. And Barry hates Eva.

"You talk to Lydia lately?" he asks Audrey.

She doesn't answer. He curses to himself under his breath. All of it is mortifying, his death, her new life, all of it. While this Lydia isn't his, she isn't hers either. She never was. Even in this new version of her, Barry has trouble imaging that she is happy to become everything no one wanted her to be.