"HE BROKE MY FUCKING WINDOW"

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rewritten on 2024 9/12

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It was around 8 p.m., and you were lounging on the couch, zoning out. The motion light outside flicked on, but you figured it was probably just a raccoon or some other neighborhood menace.

What the hell was that?

You brushed it off, until—tap, tap—someone knocked on the glass. Your stomach dropped. The glass shattered, and standing there like a character who clearly didn't understand personal space, was him. The same masked psycho from Casey's house.

He just stood there, staring at you like he was waiting for an autograph. Then, without warning, he bolted toward you like he forgot he had social anxiety. You leapt off the couch, heart pounding, and raced upstairs, slamming your bedroom door behind you.

Minutes passed. Not a sound. You cracked open the door to peek outside—nothing. It was like he'd taken his spooky act and just... left.

"Okay, Houdini," you muttered, fully opening the door and dashing downstairs to call the cops.

"911, what's your emergency?"

You rattled off your address, still catching your breath. "Someone broke into my house, shattered my window, but they're gone now. Also, seriously, they broke my favorite window."

"Alright. Stay calm. Lock your doors just in case, and a unit will be there shortly."

Gee, thanks for the groundbreaking advice, you thought, locking the door that was already locked.

When the cops arrived, they swarmed your house like they were auditioning for a crime drama. Some of them whisked you off to the station for questioning while others stayed behind, presumably to play CSI in your living room.

After an hour of questioning that was mostly them asking, "Are you sure it was Ghostface?" and you replying, "Yes, he was dressed like a cheap Halloween costume come to life," they finally let you go home. But just as you started walking back, your phone buzzed.

Oh great, an iPhone in this alternate universe.

"Hello?" you answered, knowing this was gonna be good.

"Sorry about your window, darling," a familiar, creepy voice cooed.

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, I'm actually pissed about that. That was my favorite window. You gonna pay for it?"

"What if I don't want to?" the psycho replied, like you were negotiating the terms of a car lease.

"What if I shove your knife up your ass?" you shot back.

"What if I just kill you when you get home?" he retorted, clearly thinking he had the upper hand.

"What if I use the same knife to shove it down your throat and another up your ass?" you countered, already tired of this conversation.

There was a pause, then the creepiest thing yet. "Honestly... that's kinda ho—"

Click. You hung up. No way were you giving that guy any more airtime.

When you finally got home, the cops had already cleaned up the place like you'd just hired a SWAT team as a cleaning service. No glass, no mess—hell, maybe they even dusted the furniture.

You were too exhausted to process any more chaos, so you skipped everything—showering, overthinking, caring—and flopped into bed. You'd deal with the rest in the morning, but right now? You were over it.

If Ghostface came back, he could deal with your morning breath

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