° LOVE. ° sanscest oneshots °

💊 Sometimes I Think About You. ( redlust )

Notes : holy fuck this is a dark one
Warnings : breaking up, suicide, drugs, weed, alchoholism, mentions of sex, overdosing, verbal/physical abuse, Reckless driving, aftermath of abuse.

Fell's pov.

I plopped onto my beat up sofa, taking yet another drag of my blunt. "Shit..." I closed my eyes and imagined Lust, our first date, our last.. We really tried to make it work, we really did. It's just... Lust, he.. Wasn't the best person. Neither was I, I guess. We met at some shady bar when I was being hit on by some dog monster and he wouldn't back off.

That's when I saw him run over and start telling off the guy, he didn't look scared, just pissed. Guy fucked off right away, tail literally in between his legs.

"Hey, I'm Lust, sorry about him, he's my bro's friend." Smiling, he reached out his hand, inviting me to shake it. I shoke his hand quickly before letting go. "Y-Yeah thank you, I'm real sorry, it's just-" He interrupted me, setting a soft finger on my mouth. "Don't worry about it, it's just common courtesy. People in this au are assholes.

"Okay.." I rested my hands in my pockets, oddly soothed. "Mind a drink? You seem pretty interesting."
He puctuated his sentence with a chuckle, releasing the tension. "Yeah, sounds great." I let a loose smile blanket my face as he sat down next to me, all the while calling over Grillby and ordering drinks for the both of us, letting things get a bit heated afterwards...

I slouched down back onto the couch, snapping myself back into reality. "Good times, heh.." The floaty feeling that wafted through my body kept me relaxed, despite the memories that came up when I thought of Lust.

Pressing my blunt into the ash-tray on the mini table next to my couch as I rolled another, one of the.. Less pleasant memories popped into my head.

"YA NEVER LISTEN TO ME, WHY WON'T YA JUST LISTEN?!" I screamed at him, I had just gotten home from work to see him next to an emptied twelve pack. He promised he would stop. Never again. Not after last time.

"Goddamnit Fell, can't you see how hard this is for me?! DON'T YOU SEE?!" He rose from the couch, his hands balling into fists as he stumbled towards me. "I-I'm sorry, please don't hurt me..!" I stumbled backwards, using my arms as a sheild before tripping over a beer bottle and falling to the ground.

"YOU'RE WORTHLESS FELL! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?!" His words slurred together as his eyelights drifted from plum to burgundy. He stumbled closer, clenching his fist tighter around a broken beer bottle muttering insults at both me and himself.

"Goddamn.. Inconsiderate, worthless... Piece of shit.. I should've known... Never woulda saved you if.."

"I KNEW HOW FUCKIN' HORRIBLE YOU ARE!"

He puntuated his sentence with striking me with the bottle, shards of glass and blood flew everywhere. Again, and again, and again. I screamed for help, for anyone, for him to stop, but nobody came. As he was about to hit me again, he stopped. His expression went from anger to disgust in himself in a mere second. Backing away from me, he dropped the blood covered bottle to the floor, letting it shatter on the hardwood flooring.

"W..What the hell have I done... I'm so sorry sweetheart... I shouldn't of..." He tried to reach out to me, but I slapped his hand before he could touch me.

"Fuck off Lust, we're over." I got back to my feet as I fiddled with the doorknob, eventually running out into the midnight streets. My voice quivered as I did so, just a second away from sobbing. It's over. I left.

Hunching behind some tree, I frantically dialed Blues' number. Honestly, it was a miracle he picked up this late, as he was always going on about "getting a healthy eight hours of sleep!"

After the phone had continued it's buzzing for about a minute, he picked up.

"Hey Fell! Are you okay? You don't usually call this late.." He punctuated his sentence with a yawn. "N-No, not r-really Blue. I need help. L-Lust he.. He... S-Shit, I'm at Wallwoods Park, by the good c-coffee p-place. Please, pick me up." My speech was littered with hiccups and sniffles, but Blue seemed to understand what I was saying.

"Oh my god, um, I'll pick you up right away, please stay safe, okay? I'm going to stay on the phone, tell me if you see him." I could hear the jingle of his car keys as he ran to his car.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god... I'm on my way, Wallwoods Park? Elizabeth's Coffee Shop? I'm coming okay? Ok."

It wasn't long before he arrived, his headlights almost blinding me. I don't know how we didn't get pulled over as he was driving way over the speed limit. Before long we got to his house, Blue parking messily in his parking lot.

Ushering me into the house, he sat me down on his fluffy brown couch, the spot I sat on quickly turning a sickening shade of burgendy.

"Okay, I'm going to get some gauze, rubbing alchohol, neosporin, and water. Afterwards I'm going to need to touch you so I can examine your injuries. Is that okay with you?" His voice was soft and comforting, standing up off the couch.

I couldn't speak, my throat felt like it was filled with ice so I just nodded.

"Jesus christ..." I sighed taking a deep breath as I returned to reality, not like I remembered much after that anyway. I miss Blue, he was pretty much everything to me. He was the best friend I ever had, I would kill to see him again.

Not long after Lust and I had broken up Lust had killed himself, and even though I know it wasn't my fault, I just... Should have saved him. Somehow. But I didn't. I let him die. I should die.

I glanced over to my desk, where my anti-despression pills lie. I stumbled over, pouring out the whole bottle and forcing them down my throat, like I was on auto-pilot. I did it. Sitting back down, I stared out my window. I don't have anyone to say goodbye to. I wish my brother was here. I wish Blue was here. I wish Lust was here.