Amygdala

Chapter 3: One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

It took literal ages but it's here!!! Chapter 3!!!

As always make sure to read the end note after you're done reading as there will be some more fun info!

This chapters songs: "Wide Eyed" by Billy lockett, "not your fault" by yaeow, "blame's on me" by Alexander Stewart and "People Help the People" by birdy

WARNING!
this chapter contains a therapy session. Read at your own risk if you know that is something that triggers you.

+ Just an important note, Ms Sichantha whom you will meet are in her early 30s.

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"Which one are we doing today?"

"hmm... maybe that one?" Akk replies.

...

The water flows through his hair and down his body like a warm hug but also like ice spikes ripping through his skin. His fingers feel numb yet alive. The hairs on his body are standing giving him a shudder even though the hot water is boiling his skin red. Today it's happening. Akk will talk about it.

When Akks mom got the email that he was matched with a professional the first thing they did was to schedule it on Friday since Akk barely had any classes and then he would have the whole weekend to rest off for school on Monday again. No one really knows how today is going to go, Akks parents just kept telling him it's going to be okay, Ayans mom says to be strong and have faith in yourself and Aye. Aye has been there for him, just like he promised. Just like on the rooftop that day and just like he is now. While Akk is standing in the shower trying to wash away his feelings, at the same trying to make himself more alive, Aye is sitting on his bed waiting for him to finish. They're going to leave in 1 hour and Akk has no idea what to feel or think, all he knows is the water against him is so comforting, it's like a hug from the world.

He moves his hands all over his body with his eyes closed and his face tilted upwards so the water hits his face first. His hands move like he is tracing his life through them. Feeling against his legs, thinking about the moment he and his dad ran around on the beach playing football and he could feel his thigh muscles ache from exhaustion. He touches his hands and thinks about every sensation he has ever felt with his own hands, all the way from feeling the rain fall on them to holding a pencil in class. Akk opens his mouth to let out a big exhale while purposefully swallowing a bit of water in the process.

His hands continue to track his lifes map. Without looking he traces over the moles he knows he has, the scars he has, the different pigmentations, where his muscles are more defined and where his fat is. He thinks about everyone he has ever met, when he, Kan and Wat had run out to the water and jumped in when they realized it had started pouring rain while they had a sleepover at Akks. He thinks about when his mom taught him how to make the so-called "best afternoon snack" so that when Akk has guests in the future he would have something to offer them at their visit. Of course, Akks mind can't help but to turn to Aye. As his brain flashes memories of the other. His hands start to stroke his face and neck in a delicate way, like he is a rare ruby that one can't help but to touch.

He thinks of how Aye's hugs feel, how he kisses him, how he strokes his hair when he cries, how he smiles at Akk and a beacon of light shines in his eyes, and he thinks about how Aye's hands feel when he moves him to heaven. At this moment it's like Akk can feel everything, he can feel his entire life on the outer layer of his skin, like he can feel the air around him pressing against his body. He doesn't know if he is ready to talk, if he is filled with anxiety or not, but he does know that he is ready to be okay. Akk is ready to try because, at the end of the day, life is way too excruciatingly beautiful to not give up. He want to live.