Surviving the Dark

Chapter 19: Surprise!

My bedroom helped little in bringing me back. The same bed, the same curtains, and the same layout tied me to the tumultuous memories. Living back at Cedarvale brought the past into the present. Looking down, I noticed my adult body and willed it to calm down. I'm ok. I'm safe. It was one thing to know what happened, to hear facts, but to relive it proved to be more difficult than I anticipated. Every time I came back from a session, it took me longer to accept the truth than it ever did accepting fact.

"The rescue team left fifteen minutes ago. Kian should be here by the time you get up in the morning."

Thank the gods. She smiled at me. I nodded and smiled weakly back at her. Mom sat on the side of the bed with a tray of goodies. Looking across the wide variety of snacks and drinks, my eyes lingered at the corner of the tray. Two perfectly rolled joints leaned against a bag of chips. Is that really...? Struggling to sit up more, I motioned to the contraband.

"But, you hate smoking. Especially in your house."

"You need some downtime. I know I haven't been the most understanding, and for that, I apologize. My fear sometimes overshadows my rational thought."

"Thank you."

With a click of the lighter, I inhaled and closed my eyes. The smoke disintegrated the spider webs throughout my lungs. The darkness in my mind lightened like sunrise. My window squeaked open moments before fingertips gently took the relaxation from my hand. My eyes flew open as panic jumped to life. Mom smiled as she took a respectable hit. She shifted in her chair closer to the window and played with it in her hands.

"Did you seriously just do that?"

"Your father and I used to indulge all the time. That's why I've been so adamant and strict. I miss him, and it reminds me of what I lost. You and I are similar."

She leaned back in her chair with childish pride, taking another hit. We were more alike than I'd ever admit. My father. The stress poured over me like I hadn't been battling it for weeks. The exhaustion permeated every cell; my body ached from head to toe. I was one giant throb. The high whipped me away, far from the soreness, the feelings, and reality.

Floating above the storm clouds in my mind, I pieced together the unlocked bits. The knowledge whirled around searching for the thoughts and feelings that created a fully formed memory. Victor deceived us. Natalie died. Dad disappeared. The facts were easy to know, easy to say. Connecting them with reality colored it in a different light.

She never spoke about him, where he went, what happened after that night. Trying to pull an image of him in my mind, but no image displayed. My stomach turned. Things would have been so different if..... Stop it. We can't change the past. Mom passed me the joint, and the toll the years took hit me like a tidal wave. Her once smooth hands were charred by wrinkles and scars. Her confident demeanor failed more, letting through the tumultuous storm wreaking havoc inside. It was selfish of me to blame her for everything.

"I'm ready to learn where he went."

"Your father leaving was the plan for the worst-case scenario. He went after Victor, and they fought during the ceremony. When their blood mixed, it set the curse. Due to his participation, he was gifted the ability to manipulate your father. It was his reward for his betrayal. Dad knew he couldn't live with us anymore. If he stayed, he would have been putting us all in danger. I talk to him often, you know. He has kept up with everything going on with you all this time."

She paused. Her eyes disappeared into the before, before Victor betrayed us, before Natalie died, before chaos reigned. She put her hand on my knee. My heart sank. I held so much anger towards a man I barely knew for a situation I never understood. Robert. Was it Robert? My entire outlook on my family shifted, and I questioned all of my outbursts.

"If he wasn't evil and left with Victor, and he didn't abandon us, then why keep it from me?"

"You held a lot of anger in your heart against him. You were rebellious enough without me trying to put out a grease fire with water."

"I'm sorry. I'm not the easiest person to love. I know I can be a real pain in the ass."

"Where do you think you get your stubbornness? Sweetie, I could tell you stories of the hell I put your grandparents through. How do you think I've been able to deal with you?"

Laughter. Genuine laughter connected us, at least for a brief moment. Life after that night drastically altered the engagement of fun. What used to be for play turned to training for life or death. What used to bring us together, separated us by our own agendas. We swept ourselves into the chaos, defining day to day existence as survival, not enjoyment.

Kian. The vessel to transport happiness back into my life. My chest tightened as a tear built up in the corner of my eye. Flashes of the shifter and the spell to hit me squirmed it's way to the forefront of my thoughts. Mom hired her and let her in, but I taught her the ropes and showed her how to access parts of the house.

"Listening crystals."

"Pardon?"

"We should put them all over the house. Give another place to be forewarned."

"That's not a bad idea. Maybe we would have caught that shifter. Xavier and I will do that this week."

The afternoon faded into evening. The sun lowered in the sky as we sat in my room enjoying each other's company. No planning an attack or perfecting a defense. No arguing over the best decision. Smoke drifted around us and out the window, taking our cares with it. Despite the stress, our hearts were lighter when mom retreated to her room.

The moon rose as I climbed into bed, bathing me in its playful light. My always perfect-sized bed swallowed me, reminding me of my loneliness. The heaviness of my blankets pushed the solitude from my heart. Kian. My heart reached for him, and in my mind's eye, he appeared.

A small, dark room held him, Sadie, and Lorenzo. It was dirty but not decrepit. They whispered softly as footsteps paced outside. All three glanced to the corners as if waiting for something to pop out. His eyes locked onto mine, and I knew he saw me. Help is coming. I mouthed to him. He slowly nodded and returned his focus to them, muscles tensing as opposed to relaxing. A rescue should be good news.

I released my astral connection and flew back to my room. Staring at the ceiling, my mind exploded in wonder. Astral projection. Hm. That's new. The moonlight disappeared behind gathering clouds. Having faith that he would be okay, I curled up under the covers and shut my eyes.