Surviving the Dark

Chapter 28: Resisting the Urge

"You shouldn't have chosen him over me."

Shit. Sean glared through the rear view mirror. My hand jolted the wheel in fear, and my passenger tire fell off the shoulder. Gently pulling the car back onto the road, I shook the tension from my muscles. Glancing back, his smug face unleashed a torrent of anger and rage. The inner storm awoke with a vengeance. My knuckles gripped the steering wheel. His voice sent armies of ants up my back.

"You're going to pay for what you did."

"And you're not Sean, so what does it matter to me?"

Surprise flashed across the dark glass before a sinister grin took its place. The games were getting old, and I was in no mood to play. He sat back in admiration. Ignoring his antagonizing ways, I forced my focus back to the road. Driving was becoming difficult. Every turn I resisted the impulse to drive the car straight. My mind flooded with poisons that the nothingness refused to eat.

"You've been playing along this whole time haven't you?"

"I'm a good actress," I said flatly.

"You can feel it,though, can't you? Gnawing at your insides and breathing death into your veins. You knew the minute you felt the weight of it."

His stare bore holes into my skull. My skin itched to escape his presence. It took all of my concentration to keep driving, to maintain control of mind and body. Whispers whirled from the vortex, incomprehensible and heavy. Like a toxic fog, it derailed my train of thought. Where was I going? What was I doing?

"You want it so bad you can taste it. You can feel the weight lift, the release as you drift away."

"What do you want?"

My apartment building rose on the horizon, but no relief sprang from the dry wells. Parallel parking across the street, my hands shook as I took the keys from the ignition. Trying to unlock the deadbolt, the keys jingled. The soft clink enraged me, but I pushed it down with everything else. You have got to hold on. The mental clouds thickened, losing my words amongst the invasion.

"Why do you continue to parade yourself around like Sean? Show yourself."

Reaching under my couch, I grabbed my spare box. A light shimmer illuminated my prize, and when I righted myself, Victor stood in Sean's place. I knew it. My own thoughts were distant and soft, a gentle whisper. I was losing myself under his spell. Fighting to find myself in the wasteland of my heart, his energy suffocated mine. My mind spun as I brought the flame down onto a fresh bowl. I prayed the smoke would dissipate the fog.

"I should have known."

"It's been nice talking to you like a friend. I miss that."

"It doesn't matter."

"Look at you not giving a shit, and I thought you were the saving grace."

Taking hit after hit, I waited for the headchange. You're pathetic. His words overpowered my thoughts and took center stage. He firmly planted himself in my mind like a large seed. Grabbing the last three beers from the fridge, I chugged them. Anything to chase him far enough to regain control. You're weak.

"How does it feel to know everything is over? You've lost. If mom had the choice, she would put someone else in your place, but it has to be blood. You're just the last of the pickings."

The fog undulated over my mind, rising to soaring heights while I crashed back to earth. Any escape disappeared. Another hit, nothing changed. My panic rose to critical, closing off the few bronchioles still accepting oxygen. Incoherent daggers passed through my ears and straight to my heart. My apartment got smaller with each inhale. The walls moved in. The ceiling crunched downward.