EXCHANGE OF HEARTS [BL]

SIDE STORY (01)

               Hades & Isaiah


“Promise me that you won't do it again,” Hades steady voice echoed in their room when he enters.

He sighed. “I can't keep my mouth shout.” He admitted and started walk slowly towards Hades. “I-I'm just glad to know that my son has a friend and I an very excited to meet her.” He added as he sat in the bed.

Hades remain where he is—sitting in the bed while leaning in the headboard.

“I know it's very weird that our son has finally find a friend and it's a girl—” Hades stared at him. “I also understand that you, Isaiah and I can't blame you that you are very enthusiast to meet his friend—” Hades paused. “But, what you've did earlier is really inappropriate.”

Hades is scolding him like a child and Isaiah knows deep inside him that he really deserve this because what he've done earlier is really a bad thing.

He has many ‘what if's’ when Hades made him realized his mistakes.

1. What if my son will mad at me?
2. What if my son will stay away from me?
3. What if my son will hate me because I'm pushing to his limits. What will I do if that's will happen?
4. What if he won't treat me like his father because he's mad at me?
5. What if our relationship will be destroyed because of my inappropriate manner?

So on and so forth.

“Babe,” soft fingers touches his cheeks. “Are you listening to me?”

He meet Hades's eyes and to his shocked, he mirrored the worried and sympathy in Hades's eyes.

When he did not respond, Hades sighed and take his arms to bring it to his mouth and kissed it.

“What are you thinking?” Hades kisses his hands softly.

Isaiah eyes soften as he watched his lover and answered, “am I a good father?”

Pain. That's what he see in Hades's eyes.

“Am I a good father to my son—”

“No.” Hades protested immediately.

“I-I think I...failed to be a good father of Race,” Isaiah chest heaved as he takes a deep breath. “I...I saw my son'y reaction. He was mad at me, I knew it even though he won't tell me. I know he's irritated because I kept on pushing his limits and I didn't listen to him. I always insisted that him and Bridgette will be a good lover in the future, and I can see it in my son's eyes. He's irritated at me, he wanted me to stop talking but he can't because he still respects me as his father. I failed. I failed. I failed. I should listen to him. I'm not a good father.”

“Hey, hey,” Hades cups his face, their eyes locked. “You did not fail—”

“No. I failed. I acted like an immature father who doesn't know his own child—his own flesh—his own blood.” Isaiah countered.

Hades nodded his head and he leans in. Their forehead touched and they both close their eyes as they inhale themselves.

“You did not fail. You didn't. You are the best father,” a pause. “But I won't lie either that you also a mistakes there. You are not perfect, you'll make mistakes but it doesn't mean that you failed to be his father because you are not. Race knows that you are the best and you are the only father he needs. So, don't think that you failed since you did not.”

Isaiah really tried not to cry, his eyes is hot and he felt his tears wants to stream but he choose to stop it.

He inhale through his nose and exhale through his nose and smiled.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“God knows how much I love you.” Hades whispers back as their lips met and they both shared the same breathe.

They break from the kiss to inhale some air. Hades stared at him and asked, “what happened to you talk with Race?”

“I say sorry and he forgive me. I asked for his forgiveness but he said he don't have to forgive me because I did nothing wrong,” Isaiah met Hades's eyes. “My son understand me.” He whispers.

“He always understand you,” said Hades.

“His birthday is near.” He changed the topic.

Hades reaches him and they both fell in the bed. Hades hugged him tight like he don't want to let go—and good God, Isaiah doesn't want to let go too. He want to hold Hades forever. He always want Hades's warmth skin in his body. He wants to hear Hades breath and want to see those beautiful eyes.

“It's Trixie's 20th death anniversary too.” Hade reminded him—no trace of jealousy.

“Hurace's 20th birthday and Trixie's 20th death anniversary.” He whispered to himself.

A moment of silence, Isaiah's just staring from nowhere and Hades just staring at him and waiting him patiently.

Then suddenly, Isaiah slowly snaps his heads to Hades. “Do you think she's mad at me because I am not a good father to our child?”

They stared for a seconds. When he realized something, he want to take back what he've asked ti Hades. It is wrong to us his partner about the biological mother of Race.

Isaiah thinks that he is stupid for asking Hades about it. He didn't think about Hades reaction or what would he feel.

He was about to take it back but Hades eyes soften and smiles slowly.

“She is proud of you,” Hades gently touched Isaiah's cheek. “Wherever she is now, I know she is proud of you. Isaiah, you did not abandon Race, you did not let Race to grew alone. Trixie is proud of who are you right now.”

Isaiah dips his head and shook it.

He don't know what to think. For past years, he didn't think about this. This is the first time that he questioned himself as a father if he really was a good father of his child. After what he've did earlier, he doesn't know what to do.

“Is this really bothering you?” Hades whispers.

“I can't help it,” he admitted.

He heard Hades sighed of understanding, soft lips touch is neck and Hades murmurs against his bare neck.

“I hope I can vanish what's bothering you,” hot. That what Isaiah think. “But, I know it won't ease your pain right now.” Hades added and break away from Isaiah.

Isaiah wants to pull Hades back, he still want to feel Hades lips again in his skin. He really loves the sensation that Hades gives him. It makes him alive.

“And I won't make love with you when you are bothered and hurt. I know you are not in the good mood right now,”

It makes his heart warm. He really love this man.

“Even though you will like it but I know that pain will remain." Hades added and Isaiah agreed.

He is bothered and he doesn't want to make love with Hades when his mind is full of questions. He really bothered and can't concentrate. He wanted to go to his son's room and sleep there just to ease his pain and for the peace of his mind.

Even though his son forgives him but he still bothered to the idea that his son might mad at him.

“Go,” Hades caress his hair.

“What?” Eyebrow shot. “Are you kicking me in my own room, Hades?” Cross his arms against his chest.

“No, babe,” Hades chuckled and pulled him to his arms. “I know what you're thinking,” said Hades. “You wanted to go to our son's room and sleep there. You wanted to be with our son because it will give you peace.”

His heart throbbed. “Do you mind?” Isaiah asked.

Hades shakes his head immediately. “No. I won't mind. I know you misses you son, Isaiah.”

“Do you think he will let me sleep with him? He's turning twenty two weeks from now—”

“Race loves you and he won't kick you out of his room,” Hades cuts him off and bring his lips to Isaiah. “Go, babe. Go, before I change my mind.” Hades smiled wickedly.

Isaiah grins and shakes his head. Before he leave, he drops a kiss to his lover before he walk to Race's room.

He's nervous. He feel the nauseas.

I hope my son is awake.

He knocked the door three times. No one answered and I makes him nauseous. His hands is trembling when his son didn't open the door.

God. Help me.

He knocked again.

Knocked. No one answered and nervousness grows up in his system.

Knocked. Knocked. Still no answers. He wanted to back out and just go back to their room. He thinks that his son is mad at him and expecting him to come so he didn't open the door. Or maybe is son is really, really, really mad at him to face him.

He bounce his feet to the ground. He's debating is he backs out or to wait or knocked again.

Isaiah clenched his fist ready to knocked again but he drop his fist so fast and turned around to leave but the door cracked open and he goes still in his place.

His throat bobbed.

“Dad?”

God, my son.

Isaiah slowly face his son like a machine.

Smile slowly—awkwardly.

“Hey!” He greet back.

“Do you need something?” Race asked and stared. “Do you...want to talk to me?” Race paraphrased it.

“No,” he replied. “What makes you to open the door so late?” He asked.

Race scratched the back of his neck before he answered. “I'm sorry...I bathed...”

Isaiah run his gaze to his son's hair then nodded.

It gives him relief. He really though that his son is mad at him so Race didn't open his door.

“Dad?”

Race called him when he space out.

“Yeah?”

Race tilted his head to other side. “You didn't come here to talk with me, am I right?” Isaiah averted his gaze.

“Right,” he admitted.

How should he tell Race that he wants to sleep here? It feels like he becomes teenager again.

“Dad?” His son called him again.

“Okay,” he breathe. “I came here to sleep here because I can't sleep thinking that you might still mad at me and you won't forgive me of what I've did earlier and you will hate me forever because I pushed you to your limits.”

There. He finally said it.

Race, though seems shocked. He blinks and blinks. Lips parted and eyes wide open.

“Dad—y-you're—I'm not mad...no, I am not mad at you. Why would you think about that? There nothing to forgive because I'm not mad at you nor upset.”

They fell silent, staring at each other. No one speak, they just listening to each other's breathe.

Okay, I'll go back to our room. It seems that my son won't let me—

“Come,” Race step aside to give him room.

His heart might explode because of happiness.

“Is it fine with you, dad to sleep here? Are you comfortable?” Race asked as he arrange his bed.

Isaiah roamed his eyes to his son's room like it his first time to see this even though he was there when his son decorate his own room.

Isaiah nearly cried when he's watching his 7 years old son decorating his own room for the first time. He really don't want Race to have an own room because he really want to have his child beside him, but his son insisted and at the young age he is matured enough to stand on his own feet.

Isaiah didn't forget the first night of Race here in his room. He really slept here because he can't sleep in their room with Race on his side. It is really hard for Isaiah to let his son to be independent, it's hard for him to let his child slipped to his hands. But also, he wanted Race to live his life into fully because he knows he can't hold his son's hand forever.

Just like Race, Isaiah also has a fear of losing Race in his life.

He didn't want to chain his son to keep Race safe. Even if it is hard for him to watched his son as he fly high, even it is dangerous, he still watches his son.

“Dad?”

He break through his reverie and he's back to the reality. Race is done to his bed and now he's sitting on the other side.

“I'm going to sleep. I have school tomorrow,”

Isaiah nodded to his son and he as Race lay down.

“Aren't you going to sleep, dad?” Race asked.

Ah, it is so nostalgic to sleep here in my son's room.

Isaiah misses this. He really miss to sleep beside his son. He might cry because of the heaviness in his chest but he stopped it.

Isaiah lay down beside his son and he close his eyes. “God, I really missed this.” He whispered.

“Me too.” Race whispered.

A smile slipped in Isaiah's lips and silence fell between them.

The door cracked open and later he felt that someone joins in the bed.

“I'll sleep here too.” Hades voice echoed. “Good night, my dearest family.” Hades said.

Isaiah smiled.

He is on the other side, Race in the middle and Race on the opposite side of the bed.

“Good night, dad. Good night, papa.” Race whispered.

Isaiah feel contented.