The Red Queen || Devil's night || Damon Torrance

|15|

Damon
Now

"So it's femininity, gender roles and sexuality in Japan" I said as I entered the lecture hall. "Part one." I added sarcastically, not really understanding why such an item existed at all, much less why anyone would need more than one part.

Banks glanced over her shoulder, meeting my eyes. She slowly put the pen down and turned in her chair, with a hesitant, soft smile that said 'I love him, but should I worry that he's here?'

"Your schedule is like a plate piled high with all the foods I didn't want to eat as a child." I announced. She smiled innocently. "I like my schedule." Her smile widened and my heart beat faster. The same way she smiled at me when we were fooling around as kids, doing things that my high school friends felt too cool to do. We would sneak into the cinema to watch movies without paying. We ran around the maze in the rain, playing tag. We drove through the streets in the middle of the night, much faster than allowed, because we just had to get out of the house.

As the years passed, she smiled less and less, but at this moment it was easy for her to do so. I could already see that she had changed. I walked down the stairs slowly, step by step. The lecture hall had emptied a few minutes ago at the end of class, but Banks always stayed late to grade the professor's tests. She's such a diligent student now. "Lots of politics, history and sociology." I noticed, referring to her schedule. "Why these particular items?" She shrugged and looked down, looking thoughtfully at the papers in front of her.

In high school, she did most of my homework for me, always getting a good grade, so I knew she was smart and learned quickly. She also always asked me to ask Kie for her notes so she could learn from them, cause they were from the same age. However, I was surprised to hear that she went to college. It never occurred to me that she might enjoy it.

"When I was younger, the world seemed very small." She finally replied, looking back up at me. "Now everything I learn makes it bigger. I want to know everything. Every person who has walked the world before me, every war that has been fought, every culture that breathes the same air. I can't explain it, I just.." I licked my lips to moisturize them. "You just did it." I stopped a few steps above her, involuntarily agitated.

I knew she meant me. Even though she wasn't living in my house until she was twelve, I was one of the reasons her world became so small. I wanted her to be happy, but I couldn't get rid of my possessiveness. I still found it difficult to be happy for her if it wasn't because of me.

I looked around the room. This was another thing that deepened the distance between us. The bigger her world became, the further she became from me, and of all the emotions I avoided, I hated the feeling of loss the most.

"I'm glad you're learning." I said with a little sadness. "I never imagined you this way, but it suits you." She looked beautiful. And radiant. Her dark brown curls fell loosely down her back, and her jeans and black short-sleeved blouse fit her much better than my clothes. She had painted lips and eyes, and on the finger of her left hand there was a small diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds. After that hasty wedding, Kai had to get her a real ring. Fucking Kai. He clearly treated her the way she deserved. But was she his now? Is that the end?

"I hated college." I sighed, looking around. "You hated being away from your family." She corrected me. "And I don't mean Gabriel and me." I gritted my teeth. Right.

The year and two months I spent in college sucked, and even now, thinking back on that time, it feels like time stood still when Michael, Will, Kai, and her weren't there.

And Kie...

I clenched my fist slightly just thinking about her. "I've never known another loner who hated being alone so much." She stated thoughtfully, gathering her books and papers. "So what are you going to do?" I asked, changing the subject. "You mean after these studies?" I nodded. "She's doing it now." I heard a voice from the top of the stairs. I glanced over my shoulder and saw a skinny brown-haired woman running down the steps. Alex.